Health: Heavy load

Heavy load

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

agreeclassic 25 332

vote type 1 58 308

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By Beackers675 - 10/05/2022 02:00

Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML

agreeclassic 897

vote type 1 127

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By SeatofIgnorance - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

agreeclassic 1 764

vote type 1 5 467

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 18:57 - United States

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

agreeclassic 31 033

vote type 1 7 043

By Erin - 10/05/2016 02:18 - United States - Springfield

Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML

agreeclassic 14 484

vote type 1 1 288

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

agreeclassic 10 160

vote type 1 42 339

By Ferniferousfern - 20/08/2018 18:30

Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML

agreeclassic 1 967

vote type 1 158

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

agreeclassic 37 272

vote type 1 4 972

By ThunderThighs - 23/07/2014 23:24 - United States - Flemington

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

agreeclassic 38 212

vote type 1 20 483

By tripleBBB - 09/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

agreeclassic 1 714

vote type 1 2 647

By Mary - 05/03/2019 18:00

Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML

agreeclassic 2 056

vote type 1 1 413

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 16:16

Diet. Gastric Bypass. Tummy Tuck. Gym. Something! D: and how the **** do you crack a porcelain seat like that? my God. :3

Sue21 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 16:14

wow

Comments

hollyHURR 0

Friday 10 July 2009 0:45

Healthy eating and exercise (Y). Good luck.

Shyman4ever 0

Friday 10 July 2009 0:59

Fatass it's time to lose weight

vanessa_nessa_08 0

Friday 10 July 2009 1:01

i got thumbs down for saying fatass..when there's like 30 other people who said fatass and didnt get a thumbs down.........WOW.

vanessa_nessa_08 0

Friday 10 July 2009 1:01

i got thumbs down for saying fatass..when there's like 30 other people who said fatass and didnt get a thumbs down.........WOW.

vanessa_nessa_08 0

Friday 10 July 2009 1:01

i got thumbs down for saying fatass..when there's like 30 other people who said fatass and didnt get a thumbs down.........WOW.

vanessa_nessa_08 0

Friday 10 July 2009 1:01

i got thumbs down for saying fatass..when there's like 30 other people who said fatass and didnt get a thumbs down.........WOW.

ITuMT 0

Friday 10 July 2009 1:12

Ahaha #13 funny

Felium 0

Friday 10 July 2009 1:12

kool

vanessa_nessa_08 0

Friday 10 July 2009 1:33

sorry i spammed i didnt mean to

smileygirl123 0

Friday 10 July 2009 1:35

ya i agree with#127.......

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Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She'd said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said, "Nah, it's just a generic face." FML

agreeclassic 24 494

vote type 1 10 813

Today, I went to the cafeteria at work like I usually do, but couldn't find anything I liked. Turns out there's a new policy in place: the cafeteria is now serving only vegan foodstuffs. FML

agreeclassic 680

vote type 1 142

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose THAT much weight." FML

agreeclassic 19 052

vote type 1 28 726

Today, I lost my job to a girl that graduated with the same bachelor's degree from the same college as me. She also got a master's in an unrelated field. I've been working there 7 months, and her master's in maths apparently makes her a better athletic trainer than me. FML

agreeclassic 31 294

vote type 1 4 318

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

agreeclassic 47 684

vote type 1 3 575

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

agreeclassic 23 083

vote type 1 56 569

Heavy load

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