Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML
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Top comments
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Diet. Gastric Bypass. Tummy Tuck. Gym. Something! D: and how the **** do you crack a porcelain seat like that? my God. :3
Sue21 0
wow
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Comments (224)
inbloom_fml 0
well, aren't you just so mature #76. OMfzzz I UseD 2 B faTTT!!1111!!! UrS soOooooOo MEAnNN!111!!!!!1
Jambone2 0
I just LOL'd - lose some weight mann.
ZombieKnickers_fml 8
I wouldn't worry too much about this. Toilet seats break way too easily so unless you are actually overweight I doubt you need to do anything about it. Sucks that you have to buy a new seat though D:
tranekfny 0
Hahahahahahaha wow ur pretty fatt
NonchalantSavant 0
Stewie sums it up nicely: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3T0GRjxOP98&feature=fvsr
xFenix81x 0
Well not everyone is a skkinny little twig like you, dumbass.
Woop_Woop 0
dude chill
justbea777 0
I won't say YDI for being fat, but I will say YDI for letting yourself go and not taking care of yourself. At least now you realize that you could stand to loose a few pounds
Avenging_Angel 0
Ewww >.< there's an FML I definitely did not want to picture
hossgray 0
Yeah I bet all you people makin fun wouldn't say that to my face dammit! Yal are all bitches!!! Your the kind of people that make others kill themselves! Most fat people are under constant criticism about there weight,, sooo there prone too eating more out of depression. Anyways there alot of health conditions that make people gain welght. Buncha jack asses!
KumoFF7 3
lol wow. this cracked me up.
xFenix81x 0
I agree. You should'nt have posted anything if you cant take the insults. Idiot.
FML_IS_FUNNY 0
this also cause ppl to become anoerixc (SP w.e) and Bulimic
Olivia412 0
I mean if you didn't know people were going to say this stuff in the first place, you're stupid. You deserved the comments.