Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML
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Top comments
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Diet. Gastric Bypass. Tummy Tuck. Gym. Something! D: and how the **** do you crack a porcelain seat like that? my God. :3
Sue21 0
wow
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Comments (224)
Illyssa_fml 4
Lmao!!! Fatty Patty makes this funnier
jcp012000 5
thats a disgusting story
ipod_fml 0
FFFFFAIL!!!!
Joeliette 0
You're beautiful in your way cuz god makes no mistakes. You're on the right track baby you were born this way.
SantoryuuFelidae 1
i don't think the biggest problem is his (yeah, it's a guy. why baby?) looks (though that may be a concern.) Obesity leads to many, many serious health problems. unless the dude was born with some rare medical disorder that causes weight gain, he better shed a few pounds.
xtmc87x 0
ugh I hate fatness with a passion, please stop eating!
MadeToCommentOnT 0
Nobody can actually weigh that much and then "just realize they're fat".
Brennaa69 5
Lmao.
silverstar210 0
WTF??? u probably just sit on the couch all day n eat chips. ydi
KaylieBieber13 0
doesnt mean ur fat i mean think of all the weight thats ever sat on the toliet it was probably just worn out!!
illestsmiley14st 0
Aww:(