Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML
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Top comments
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Diet. Gastric Bypass. Tummy Tuck. Gym. Something! D: and how the **** do you crack a porcelain seat like that? my God. :3
Sue21 0
wow
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Comments (224)
zebrapattern 6
that was just the toilet seat. it could have been the toilet.
NightlyChecker 6
Whatchu gonna do with all that junk in your trunk?...Lol
fleabe1 2
it really dosent matter how big someone is, when i was under a hundred pounds i had it happen to me. To don't make fun of someone u don't know
lilmissroxtar 1
Who cares ive broken my bed and i only wheigh 80 it has nothing to do with fatness
dmplayer91 0
YDI .... 100$ says your one of those fatasses that thinks they are soooo freakin sexy.... Fat is NOT sexy go to a gym and get that hour glass figured
Pugs_not_drugs 9
£200 says your one of those jerks who spends an hour trying to come up with a witty response which is actually just offensive and narrow minded
m139307 0
i just laughed my ass off
youknowimright 5
To be fair, I didnt know that if you're too fat you break the toilet seat, so chill out.
dareintheren 7
Maybe it's the toilet for being too weak
ecascio2010 9
Kevin Heffernan????
HallahBackGirl 12
That's rather impressive. Let's all imagine that it's muscle mass