Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
Today, I tried to take a slow-motion video of myself flipping my hair like in a shampoo commercial. Instead, I hit my head against the shower door so hard that my shelf of cosmetics collapsed and landed in my toilet. FML
Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML
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Top comments
Higamalia 19
I reeeeally hope you landed on it sideways and not when it was standing straight up. That could have ended much, much worse...talk about a close shave :p
Waschlappen 23
So it is actually possible to just fall onto random objects with your anus. I need to give all the people going to the ER with stuff up their rectum the benefit of a doubt now..
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Comments (62)
SkoomaKi 28
Look at the bright side - every time you fart it'll sound like a little gust of wind.
thedebater 6
then OP should try not to fart
thatonechicksaid 12
omg I'm going to hell for saying this but it made my day
Phantomsnake 10
It's okay, you can tell us.
PingusTheDingus 31
Well that's a load of ass.
Higamalia 19
I reeeeally hope you landed on it sideways and not when it was standing straight up. That could have ended much, much worse...talk about a close shave :p
whysobeachy 37
Imagine if OP fell onto it while it was standing. That way, OP would have to tell the folk at the hospital that she "slipped and fell" on it. That'd be a whole another FML.
Higamalia 19
Talk about IN-ception haha
epost1 13
Rest in peace, Erin.
399 41
FYL OP and that must of hurt :(.
Dick_diamond 22
Must've!!!
Nygma 14
*must have
Colon_Man 17
I'm not going to be able to walk comfortably for the rest of the day. The crack, because of surgery, and eyeball stuff... just... *dry heave*
whysobeachy 37
eyeball stuff?
Colon_Man 17
Punched, poked, needles, sand - anything going into or damaging the eyes.
whysobeachy 37
I don't think OP mentioned anything about her eyeballs.
Colon_Man 17
Never said she did. I added it as one of my own bad things to happen. Some people can't handle needles or blood. Some puke at the mention of the word puke. I don't know. Maybe my English is broken. I'll take it to the shop tomorrow.
tomvertigo 17
You are the combination of my two friends - one a premie with an artificial ass and one petrified of anything eye related. He gets freaked out knowing when people have contacts in!
ssnow_fml 20
At least it didn't go up your butt. Just split the crack that was already split.
Waschlappen 23
So it is actually possible to just fall onto random objects with your anus. I need to give all the people going to the ER with stuff up their rectum the benefit of a doubt now..
askullnamedbilly 33
If you didn't already, go see a doctor. Due to the proximity of your waste disposal channel, you could get some pretty nasty infections down there.