Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML
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Top comments
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Diet. Gastric Bypass. Tummy Tuck. Gym. Something! D: and how the **** do you crack a porcelain seat like that? my God. :3
Sue21 0
wow
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Comments (224)
DSuarez94 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
woohoo! I'm finally first! Maybe you should excercise and go on a diet.
itsallgood123 0
nice one failure
PakiPakiPaki 0
HOLY MOLYYYYYY AHHH UR FAT DUDE
marz88 0
L2lose weight. I hate fat people ( I can say this because I used to be fat). And plus they make everything more difficult, I work in the ER and nothing makes a procedure more difficult than a fat person bleh. If you know you are fat...DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
marz88 0
I wasn't trying to be rude + it's better for your health anyway *shrug* not that I care if anyone agrees with me or not.
Person1233 13
If only they said " I have a thyroid problem." then a lot of this bashing could have been stopped 0_o
SuperSpore 0
Not if they go too much and they're underweight. Just as many health problems.
xFenix81x 0
Whatever. You probably go home and stuff your face with chocolate at night, loser.
heywood 0
LOL obviously #70 does care if people agree with him, on account of the fact that he came back to this page and replied to what someone else said about his comment. And, duh, the fact that he commented in the first place! Good game bro thanks for playing.
waterynuggets 0
Cool story, bro.
plexico 4
You need to go buy two Wii Fits, one for each foot!
RJB 0
thats remind me of the fml where someone bought a Wii Fit to lose weight but they were too fat to use it.
SUSAltd 0
Out of curiousity, how much DO you weigh?
DSuarez94 0
Maybe you should excercise and go on a diet. Or get Wii Fit.
lil_ham1644 29
Or go for a walk
Jemibub 4
YDI for putting the worst mental image in my mind. And not your weight or the cracking of the seat ...
gizmo_987 0
Agree 100% lol. worst mental image :P
Squirrellord911 0
oh crap, now jemibub gave me the image.
Peroxide 3
im surprised u can even reach ur ass
shewasalmost18 0
shit happens. well, in your case shit happens to go into the toilet which you cracked due to being a fatty
Since1998 20
this would have been a funny comment if you left it at just "shit happens".