Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, I was simply trying to fix my skateboard wheels with my pocket knife. The tip suddenly broke off, leaving me horrified. It was my favorite knife, which I inherited from my dad who abandoned me when I was 4. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML
Today, as part of his crusade to drive me mad by “helping” in the kitchen, my dad used an entire bottle of expensive olive oil I brought from Greece to make fried bread for his breakfast, and he used the edge of my Japanese chef's knife to loosen a screw, so it now has a giant hairline crack. FML
Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML
Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML
Today, I have quite a niche career forging swords, knives, and other weapons for museums. Well today my wife wanted to watch the anime Demon Slayer, we got to the scenes with the insane masked swordsmith, and she burst out laughing like, “Oh my god, you’re twins, grumpy twins!” FML
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Top comments
ezrocks4u 29
Maybe you should swing the cousin at a tree and see if he breaks..? Seriously though, make him repay you, and then some.
Kurby14 21
sounds like your cousin needs a sword to the face. sorry OP :( at least your dad loved his gift
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Comments (124)
DJNgamez 8
you cousin is an idiot and an asshole... How did you dad react? Is he ok?
nuka_cola 15
Then it's not a real sword
GhostFox 34
Probably a real sword. You wouldn't even use a broadsword on a tree- swords aren't meant to be used to chop down wood, for ***** sake. That's what axes are for! Katana are even more fragile, because they are meant to be used with finesse not blindly hacking at a bloody tree. They also have less metal in them, which makes them inherently more fragile.
AdamTB 26
Do people here not know about swords outside of Kill Bill? Swinging a katana at a tree is a good way to break it, doesn't mean the OP got ripped off.
EvilLittleMan 23
Awesome gift idea OP. Mega props for that. Sadly I am thinking if the cousin is a drunken fool then the odds are slim that the cousin doesn't have a decent paying job to replace sword.
adartse93 11
Nice gift! Sorry about your cousin :/
Rskittles10 16
Buy a new one and cut your cousin in half with it
soulreaper12296 28
Tell your cousin he better be the one paying the bill to have it repaired.
MeltedMango 8
Would there be any refund policy on the sword...? If not I'd definitely recommend having your drunk cousin repay you guys for it.
deathshead 19
refund policy on a traditional, customized, and very expensive katana that may or may not have been shipped internationally, I highly doubt it
deathshead 19
91 also has a valid point
Elban 20
Some makers of weapons do give a repair with the weapon sometimes even one free to help sell blades. A traditional smith you don't know well and thousands of miles away prob would charge an arm and a leg for the repair. OP should send him the cousin's
deathshead 19
repairs maybe, I can give you that but if the blade shattered he could have to remake the whole blade at least and im not sure that would quite fall under a "repair"
gqlmno 23
Hey now quit hating on his drunk cousin he was only trying to be like Samurai Jack
GhostFox 34
Samurai Jack didn't drink for one... For two, who the **** swings around an expensive gift? That would be like someone buying several game console, and someone deciding to jump on them to see if they bounce. It would be pretty upsetting, even if it didn't happen at the gift receivers retirement party!
Spudnik 21
And this is the part where you kill your cousin for being an absolute moron.