Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, I was simply trying to fix my skateboard wheels with my pocket knife. The tip suddenly broke off, leaving me horrified. It was my favorite knife, which I inherited from my dad who abandoned me when I was 4. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML
Today, as part of his crusade to drive me mad by “helping” in the kitchen, my dad used an entire bottle of expensive olive oil I brought from Greece to make fried bread for his breakfast, and he used the edge of my Japanese chef's knife to loosen a screw, so it now has a giant hairline crack. FML
Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML
Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML
Today, I have quite a niche career forging swords, knives, and other weapons for museums. Well today my wife wanted to watch the anime Demon Slayer, we got to the scenes with the insane masked swordsmith, and she burst out laughing like, “Oh my god, you’re twins, grumpy twins!” FML
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Top comments
ezrocks4u 29
Maybe you should swing the cousin at a tree and see if he breaks..? Seriously though, make him repay you, and then some.
Kurby14 21
sounds like your cousin needs a sword to the face. sorry OP :( at least your dad loved his gift
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Comments (124)
mmcewen 15
I would probably snap your cousin in half
MomGirl 13
I thought you were going to say that your father hated the sword... after all your effort. But he loved it, so that's a plus.
juggalo2 22
Since it was brand new, order a new one and bill it to your cousin. I realize there is probably a long wait, and it spoiled the moment, but no need to spoil the relationship.
Etweens96 25
Have your cousin pay for the new one
worldclassrager 41
I find this funny that this is in Germany... The pine is mightier than the sword...
leogachi 15
@16 Someone beat you to the pun.
worldclassrager 41
Drat...didn't see it...
NostalgiaFreak9 43
*sarcasm* Yes, because Japanese people can't live in Germany.
BlueHorizons 8
Isn't a sword like this worth many thousands of dollars..? I'd be a little more than slightly pissed off at my idiot cousin.
noonenoeone 22
Yea a hand made traditional samurai sword can easily be in the 5 figure range.
LanceGoodthrust 19
Someone's been watching too much Kill Bill
Shyriann 1
What a beautiful and thoughtful gift. I'm certain your father will always remember it fondly, no matter what happened to it.
SLdeej 11
Wow, what an asshole.
kandy3612 17
Amazing gift, OP…too bad it broke. :( I always wanted a samurai sword *sigh* but you don't always get what you want :/
deathshead 19
you can try sometime but you just might find you get what you need.