Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, while demonstrating to my wife how I broke my big toe, I broke the little toe on the opposite foot. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML
Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Would I be correct in assuming that your weeaboo phase has fully run it's course?
Glowworm56 27
This is why we shouldn't play around with swords if we have absolutely no idea what we're doing with them in real life.
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Comments (27)
Dave_Davington 34
Would I be correct in assuming that your weeaboo phase has fully run it's course?
davecross 11
Look on the bright side you will get a handicap license plate. Now you will be able to park closer to the the places you go. Gimpy!!!!!
chickensheep 15
This is precisely why swords and guns are illegal in sensible countries.
coolmike699 26
"In America, you have the right to be stupid." -Fmr. Sec. of State John Kerry
RichardPencil 32
Toe be, or not toe be.
tonyfan00 38
This'd be perfect is OP's name is Toby!
CSSDimian 6
As a person with a large sword collection and years of training under my belt, my question is - How the actual F do you manage to cut your foot? What were you even doing? The incompetence is unreal.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I was thinking that maybe he was trying to slice something vertically, missed, and because those things aren't light, he couldn't stop his arms before they went down with the weight of the katana, and then it went straight into his foot.
Glowworm56 27
This is why we shouldn't play around with swords if we have absolutely no idea what we're doing with them in real life.
Demon_of_Light 27
When will people learn? Weapons are not toys.
Oogly979 8
I'm imagining a fat guy with a neck beard overcompensation with overbearing geekery?
acmariner99 25
Well now I know who not to have on my zombie apocalypse team.
Mungolikecandy 19
The only people who should have access to actually edged swords are trained martial artists. Even blunt training swords can be dangerous in a non-regulated environment.