Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, I was simply trying to fix my skateboard wheels with my pocket knife. The tip suddenly broke off, leaving me horrified. It was my favorite knife, which I inherited from my dad who abandoned me when I was 4. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML
Today, as part of his crusade to drive me mad by “helping” in the kitchen, my dad used an entire bottle of expensive olive oil I brought from Greece to make fried bread for his breakfast, and he used the edge of my Japanese chef's knife to loosen a screw, so it now has a giant hairline crack. FML
Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML
Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML
Today, I have quite a niche career forging swords, knives, and other weapons for museums. Well today my wife wanted to watch the anime Demon Slayer, we got to the scenes with the insane masked swordsmith, and she burst out laughing like, “Oh my god, you’re twins, grumpy twins!” FML
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Top comments
ezrocks4u 29
Maybe you should swing the cousin at a tree and see if he breaks..? Seriously though, make him repay you, and then some.
Kurby14 21
sounds like your cousin needs a sword to the face. sorry OP :( at least your dad loved his gift
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Comments (124)
okami36 2
Your cousin should do the honorable thing and commit seppuku with the broken blade.
Crimsonb312 11
I hate to say this, but it's more a FTL. Still, that's an awesome gift to give someone. Maybe make the drunk pay for another one?
hardcorefan16 22
Your cousin is an asshole.
Ninjerman 7
You get the "Son of the Year" award. I would *almost* kill someone for a traditional forged sword.
chibikatans 14
Unfortunately paper beats scissors this time
LaxGuy26 12
Maybe his abdomen would be a good place to keep the pieces
dyscomonkee 12
Garbage craftsmanship I'd get a refund
ChakatBlackstar 29
Actually most Japanese swords while they slash well, aren't very strong, particularly when used on objects that won't yield...such as a strong tree and often shatter as a result.
xluciferx666 21
He has Dishonored your family....he must atone and commit Seppuku
Bibblejomin 18
He dishonas your famiry.
TimTam333 1
If it was a katana it shouldn't have broke like that. They are supposed to be very strong and flexible