Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after breaking my leg, I'm unable to put any weight on it whatsoever. Our bedroom? Upstairs. Our only bathroom? Basement. My husband thought it would be a great idea to leave me alone and unable to walk to go babysit his nieces. I had to piss in a bucket. FML
Today, I slipped and sprained my ankle while shopping for a present for my husband, who later came home and tripped over my elevated leg, hurting my ankle again. Now I have an excruciating sprain, and a spouse who's furious at me because, I "shouldn't have tried to surprise him." FML
Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML
Today, I tripped really hard and twisted my ankle on a toy that was on the floor, dropping a bag of trash filled with coffee and energy drinks my husband has piled around his desk. Instead of helping me up or helping me clean, he berated me about it. Told me that it's not my problem and went to his LoL game. FML
Today, I took my kids to an indoor playground. My two year-old wanted me to climb the rock wall and ring the bell. I slipped right when I was about to touch it. I landed wrong and felt a 'POP' and agony. Hello, broken ankle. FML
Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML
Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three Percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML
Today, I had my first real break from work in ages, so I decided to go hiking. Less than 20 minutes in, I tumbled a couple hundred feet down a steep hill, broke my leg and several toes, and lay there in agony for an eternity before I was finally rescued. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, after spending two hard months losing 20 pounds of my 80 pound goal, I was actually excited to exercise. After I was done exercising, I fell down the stairs and broke my ankle. FML
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Top comments
Nymeria_fml 25
It seems like "walking's for *******" now.
gunda95 11
His logic is sound. Video games cure everything.
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Comments (122)
theorist3 7
Time for a reality check... go to the doctor who will be able to tell your husband what the issue is... sprained or broken.
SofiaM0517 8
Guess he hasn't heard of crutches
SatinsNightmares 17
Sprains hurt pretty bad and putting pressure on a sprain will cause him to feel a lot of pain. It's not 'just a sprain' that shit hurts. For a shorter period of time than a break of course but it still hurts. If he's still whining in a week or two that's different but a day later **** yeah.
ZombieKnickers_fml 8
Put the bucket (and everything else he can pee in) next to the toilet.
orphanclubber 8
sounds like a keeper huh
GirasolNegro 22
Take the bucket of pee and dump it on him! That will get him up and walking in no time!
YesIAmPlease 4
When I was 12 I sprained my ankle and walked around and went to school and even jumped off my swing(I DO NOT RECOMMEND!!!!!). I'm a girl too, if that makes any difference. (It doesn't but he might be sexist, I don't know so...)
CrazyManNo9 29
One of the American Idol contestants from Season 7 who was voted off as number 8, Michael Johns?, just died from sprained ankle. He passed a blood clot. Just sayin'.
worldclassrager 41
Tell him to rub some dirt on it...or if he is too hurt to walk then he is too hurt to game...the bed pan i am not sure to help with that one
kwintalamillah 6
Seriously? Yeah sprains hurt, but it's his own damn fault. If he thinks safety equipment is for ******* he shouldn't be acting like a pussy because he got hurt.
skittyskatbrat 19
wish i had a thousand +'s for that....