Today, after breaking my leg, I'm unable to put any weight on it whatsoever. Our bedroom? Upstairs. Our only bathroom? Basement. My husband thought it would be a great idea to leave me alone and unable to walk to go babysit his nieces. I had to piss in a bucket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML
Today, I moved into a new downstairs flat. I promptly fell down said stairs. I have a broken pelvis now and can't walk or go down steps for 3 months. FML
Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML
Today, I'm banned from the only working bathroom in my house because my mother is cleansing for an upcoming colonoscopy. My options are either a bucket in the basement, or wetting myself. FML
Today, I woke up on the floor with my feet still in the bed. I had passed out while vomiting into a bucket, since I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. The bucket had spilled all over my bed. FML
Today, I was using a disabled toilet. I'm disabled partly because of spinal problems. While I was doing my business, the whole toilet fell to the floor, leaving me sitting in a puddle of my own urine and smashed porcelain, with even more spinal problems. FML
Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML
Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML
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Top comments
ojosRojos 28
Okay but what kind of architect would design a house with the only bathroom in the basement?
Major_Haywire 7
Not being flippant, but hop and sit on the stairs to go down one at a time. Had to master this at an early age so I know it sucks. Hope you heal quickly 👍
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Comments (18)
Major_Haywire 7
Not being flippant, but hop and sit on the stairs to go down one at a time. Had to master this at an early age so I know it sucks. Hope you heal quickly 👍
bluejello2001 18
OP's ability to do the butt-slide down the stairs may depend on the size of the cast and how recent it is. When I broke my fibula and tibia, it was at a really weird/bad angle and I was told not to put *any* weight on that leg for the first 3 weeks - I was told to use a wheelchair even in the house. And the cast went up to mid-thigh, so I couldn't even get into a position to butt-slide down stairs until my second and thankfully shorter cast.
ojosRojos 28
Okay but what kind of architect would design a house with the only bathroom in the basement?
Inkoseh 33
I'm wondering if OP meant only working bathroom. Like it's under renovation? If not, that really blows. I know really old homes don't have them on main floors, but will on the second floor with bedrooms. I'm sure it's code somewhere that a home requires a working bathroom in all habitable spaces. A basement isn't habitable unless it's finished. Until then it's considered storage!
Sonotsuave 37
A bad one
Mathalamus 25
Someone had to babysit the nieces. And you aren't exactly completely immobile. The design of the house is questionable, though.
jbuckets_404 39
That somebody? They're called parents or hired babysitters....
Mathalamus 25
The parents obviously weren't availed and they clearly didn't trust a stranger.
rotflqtms_ 21
Your doctor didn't recommend crutches? I would have asked for crutches so I could get around. I hate being dependent on anyone for my mobility. Now that you know these things can happen, if it's allowed, see about getting crutches.
RichardPencil 32
You mean crutch technology has not made it to the Great White North? Obvious solution: adult diapers.
Susan Yee 9
Just bring some food and put a bed in the basement. Problem Solved.
mcsmee 8
On the plus side, now your husband has to carry a piss-filled bucket downstairs to empty it.
jbuckets_404 39
Somehow I'm sure that he'll find an excuse not to....
Drai Gray 8
being a bit of a cry baby if you ask me.....
AmbrosiaFan 19
Adapt and overcome. When my mom broke her leg, she got a chair potty that my dad would then empty when she was done. Its also possible to slide down the steps, etc.
jbuckets_404 39
Hubby could've made it even worse: leave the nieces with OP and trekked off to the nearest bar. Good luck, OP!