Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after breaking my leg, I'm unable to put any weight on it whatsoever. Our bedroom? Upstairs. Our only bathroom? Basement. My husband thought it would be a great idea to leave me alone and unable to walk to go babysit his nieces. I had to piss in a bucket. FML
Today, I slipped and sprained my ankle while shopping for a present for my husband, who later came home and tripped over my elevated leg, hurting my ankle again. Now I have an excruciating sprain, and a spouse who's furious at me because, I "shouldn't have tried to surprise him." FML
Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML
Today, I tripped really hard and twisted my ankle on a toy that was on the floor, dropping a bag of trash filled with coffee and energy drinks my husband has piled around his desk. Instead of helping me up or helping me clean, he berated me about it. Told me that it's not my problem and went to his LoL game. FML
Today, I took my kids to an indoor playground. My two year-old wanted me to climb the rock wall and ring the bell. I slipped right when I was about to touch it. I landed wrong and felt a 'POP' and agony. Hello, broken ankle. FML
Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML
Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three Percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML
Today, I had my first real break from work in ages, so I decided to go hiking. Less than 20 minutes in, I tumbled a couple hundred feet down a steep hill, broke my leg and several toes, and lay there in agony for an eternity before I was finally rescued. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, after spending two hard months losing 20 pounds of my 80 pound goal, I was actually excited to exercise. After I was done exercising, I fell down the stairs and broke my ankle. FML
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Top comments
Nymeria_fml 25
It seems like "walking's for *******" now.
gunda95 11
His logic is sound. Video games cure everything.
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Comments (122)
aliyahstars 7
Go.The.Hosipital {it's not that complicated}
echosong 16
Now that's what I like to call a good comeback
ZorroRooster 19
Why do some people jump into the gene pool?
sbarua219 17
Lol
echosong 16
And... Um, what about #2?
mannatee 19
Everyone experiences pain differently. You don't know how much he feels.
DirtRider500R 3
I broke my back (severely) in a motocross crash, and didn't go to the hospital for three days because I though the pain was due to muscle spasms. 9 Days and one surgery later, I have 2 titanium rods, 10 screws, and 40 staples holding my back together. I can operate just fine (and was also able to operate just fine when I broke my leg last year). Get him some crutches and tell him to stop being a whiny bitch. :)
TheyCallMeDamien 18
That's nasty.
Saraishi 25
Total non-pussy behaviour. Yeeeep.
isisorchid 16
I walked and worked on a broken foot for three days. I hiked a trail back a mile after spraining it. Tell him to man up.
Blondie0304 1
shouldn't have married a Bitch.just saying