Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML
Today, the only way I could get my boyfriend to come over for a serious discussion was to heavily imply I wanted to talk about having a threesome. In actual fact, I just wanted to break up with him face-to-face, because he barely acknowledges my existence unless he's horny. FML
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I'd finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looked at me and asked, "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML
Today, I tried to seduce my long term boyfriend into doing the deed for about an hour. He didn't even put his phone down. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML
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Top comments
caticaticati 3
And then I bet he laughed and came over anyways and you don't have a sense of humor. Also, why are you so upset that your boyfriend would rather have a conversation with you than get laid, if he was serious? Many girls would love to have that.
Fluffy_homan 0
today my girlfriend got angry because I respect her and would rather have a conversation than f*ck her. FML
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Comments (60)
caticaticati 3
And then I bet he laughed and came over anyways and you don't have a sense of humor. Also, why are you so upset that your boyfriend would rather have a conversation with you than get laid, if he was serious? Many girls would love to have that.
MoonyIce 0
This, seriously.
asnider 0
I agree 100%.
DameGreyWulf 1
Yes, hooray for number one!
philman_fml 0
exactly what I was thinking, pretty sure that's a common joke, and if not number 1 said it all
LadySilver_fml 0
why do you even have to convince your boyfriend to come over with sex? he should want to come over anyways.
the_lololagist 11
Also, you had to /convince/ him to come over? Doesn't that tell you something?
zelly05 0
yay number one!! xD
rwac07 0
I wouldve been at op's house asap
Brandi_Faith 34
It probably wasn't a joke seeing as she witnessed the fact that he didn't come over. Therefore she went on fml instead.
Stumblebum30 5
If a guy can hold an intelligent conversation.... he's a keeper! lol
NathanKett 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Humour fail. Now that idiot isn't getting laid. FHL
kukopia 0
Neither is she. Seduction Fail.
stupiddumbblonde 0
Not an fml. seriously people??? get better fmls!!
bluehero 17
Epic fail accidentally replied .. Lol
Fluffy_homan 0
today my girlfriend got angry because I respect her and would rather have a conversation than f*ck her. FML
LolCandy 27
Because obviously respect and sex are mutually exclusive. :P
faxe 0
So, you actually want men who think of women as useful only for sex? Guys, we need to give OP lady of the year award!
icanfloat12 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
wow screw ur bf ur the best gf Eva!
abbylolz 0
Not his fault maybe ur ugly... Or maybe he just wanted to talk about his feelings I think ur messed up.. But that's my opinion
abbylolz 0
And girls r usefull for other things jeez some ppl r so sexiest!!!! If girls wanted to be used for sex they would become strippers! :P
not_kidding 0
Thank you, I know I'm sexist.
moonlit_manga 0
quit wining op! he clearly sees more to this relationship than sex. though he could have been kidding....either way--not an fml. actually ydi for not having a sense of humor. STUPIDITY IS A CHOICE.....CHOOSE WISELY.