Today, an attractive woman was flirting with me from across a coffee shop. When I walked over and introduced myself, she served me with my divorce paperwork. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to this coworker I like and ask her out for a coffee next door. She was dismissive, cold and rude, and filed a complaint with HR. FML
Today, I signed the divorce papers my wife gave me. When I went to bed, she was on the phone talking to her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML
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Top comments
JackWood 21
That's hilarious! Your wife has a great sense of humor. Seems only fitting.
Hangryko 32
I can see why your wife is divorcing you. Good on her using your MO against you. YDI.
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Comments (8)
JackWood 21
That's hilarious! Your wife has a great sense of humor. Seems only fitting.
Hangryko 32
I can see why your wife is divorcing you. Good on her using your MO against you. YDI.
poopface82 25
Sounds like she at least agreed to have this kind of fun with the divorce instead of running off to spend six months getting drunk with her new husband and abandoning me with two kids and no money. Like a certain ex-wife of mine who shall remain nameless/
Shzusuziq11 12
That's actually quite funny!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Say goodbye to your ego. You won't be seeing it for a while.
FluffythePink 23
I need to buy your ex wife and that papers serving lady a beer. That's just ******* hilarious and oh so very well deserved karma.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Kwachang!!!
cpguru24 18
I mean. Welcome to failing.