Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, just after got home, my husband, instead of offering to cook dinner or massage my feet, said, "Does this look a funny colour to you?" and showed me a selfie of his asshole. And yes, it did, so of course I had to book a doctor's appointment for him because he can’t even do that by himself. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, I discovered that my husband doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet. Too bad I got to found out after three years of marriage, and while his finger was in my mouth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
PANDORUM89 21
perhaps Instead have him go pick you up some pads for the time being until you can insert your own tampons?
MeowntainMix 18
That sucks. If he can stick his dick in there, he should be able to put a tampon in there
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (215)
awesumous 16
Sorry. His is ur husband he should man up and do something gross for u, as u would do something gross for u
militarybrat 21
There are just some things... Better go to pads for a bit.
dannnngthatsux 19
Unless he is one of those people who faint involuntarily from seeing blood, suck it up buttercup. I'm not even including the oral-anal sex, if you love a woman, really love her as an equal and a friend, your butt would do whatever she needed. I've done things like this and will do them again. It ain't pretty, but it is right.
quackImapenguin 16
I've seen a couple people in the comments invoking consent as though this is a sexual act. It's not sexual, it's basic care. You have a duty to your spouse to help them with this sort of thing if they become incapacitated. If your spouse becomes bedridden you help them use the bedpan, if your spouse can't physically deal with her tampon/pad/menstrual cup, you help her out. The husband's lucky she wasn't using a menstrual cup- that actually takes effort to remove.
IndigoPhlo 6
Yeah menstrual cups take some finesse. One wrong move and you're recreating the elevator from The Shining...
mmdavis95 5
All the women here that are grossed out by their own tampons need to grow up. It's a natural process and certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Shame on all of you supporting the husband. If you can clean up a kids puke or stick your tongue in and ass hole you can help your wife with a tampon.
manuwish 9
I think he's maybe phobic about seeing or touching blood.. I don't think it has anything to do with not being able to stick something into your bodily orifices..as proves your comment at the end.. :)
CMyBones 4
Something a 9 volt battery and a woman's asshole have in common, eventually some guy is gonna put his tounge on it.
prettygurl89 16
I'd beat the shit outta my husband if he did that. The asshole thing, not the tampons.
Kaeliann 8
Y'all nasty ??
PhoenixChick 26
Maybe get him one of those plastic sticks with a trigger on one end and a dinosaur head on the other, where pinching the trigger makes the dinosaur go chomp. He can use that to pull out the used blood plug.