Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, just after got home, my husband, instead of offering to cook dinner or massage my feet, said, "Does this look a funny colour to you?" and showed me a selfie of his asshole. And yes, it did, so of course I had to book a doctor's appointment for him because he can’t even do that by himself. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, I discovered that my husband doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet. Too bad I got to found out after three years of marriage, and while his finger was in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
PANDORUM89 21
perhaps Instead have him go pick you up some pads for the time being until you can insert your own tampons?
MeowntainMix 18
That sucks. If he can stick his dick in there, he should be able to put a tampon in there
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Comments (215)
hoosiergirl94 31
Tmi
Chloe555_fml 27
Tell him he can use his tongue.
8djht8 19
If you truly love someone nothing you do can gross each other out. So its good he licks your asshole but if he wants that prize he's gotta pay the price. p.s. tell him not to be a little bitch!!! HAHAHA!!!!! YOU ******* CHICKEN SHIT PUSSY CANT HELP YOUR INJURED LOVER, what a dumb ****! Tell him that :)
WOTAN1488 24
"Routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole" LOL! Maybe its the blood
DespicableDez 7
hahaha, I'm laughing at your husband, not you. sorry
dannidoll93 24
But hold on, how are you typing an FML if your hands are too burned to put in a tampon? Not trying to be rude, genuine question.
cazza3 15
My boyfriend often tries to lick my asshole but the sight of blood has him freaking out even from a cut finger. Could be a similar problem.
HoneyBadger1529 3
unnecessary detail
ajlopez 18
Ass tastes amazing.
helmiz 17
you sucks really for asking him to do that. The asshole part meanwhile, you did enjoyed it also.
DoomedGemini 38
Something stupid.