Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially, "Kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML
Today, I found my neighbours bratty kid in my house, eating my snacks, dirtying my sofa, and drawing on pages torn from my books. I marched him back home by the ear, him screaming I was a meanie, and his mother's only excuse was, “Boys will be boys.” No apology or anything. I HATE KIDS. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
Today, my neighbour threw a bucket of muddy water over the fence at us because he said we’d been noisy since 5 a.m., and he was sick of it. We were noisy getting ready for my wedding. The water hit me and all my bridesmaids in our dresses, since we were ready and waiting to get in the limo. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
glowbaby 15
Some parents make me want to scream
smokecloud_ 37
Time to fill up hundreds of water balloons and bombard them when they leave the house. What? You're just a kid at heart. ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (105)
TXFernwoods 26
Teepee their house! :D Then when they complain respond with "karma's a bitch" and slam the door in their faces! >:D
mario2012 18
Teepee their house huh? While he's at it he should make a wigwam as well.
cakefete2 31
Call me a pacifist, but pass the peace pipe. If you want revenge, hide the snacks and wait.
mosquito19 14
start pissing in a bucket. get your friends to donate too. you'll know what to do when its full.
murythawn 13
Put a communal chamber pot in the mall for quick collection.
Rcmpbell 6
That's when you invite a younger family member over or your kids and throw them at that kids mother and say kids will be kids back :-)
TunaFireStarter 16
I don't think it's what you meant, but the mental image of OP throwing kids at the neighbor made me giggle.
AFCCT 7
Throw out everything you learned about being the bigger person cause it's rampage time. Prank war!
Witchylady 18
Next time empty a bucket of urine over the little twerp and then slam the door in his moms face. And then say to her, 'revenge is revenge so kiss my asd'. I hope you get them back very soon.
SkyBlueCloud 21
Put shit in a paper bag light it on fire and ring her door bell a bunch.
cakefete2 31
Bad idea. They can be picked up and thrown back. Now if you have almost freezing water.....
doodlecloud 27
Plus a frozen balloon to the head could probably kill a kid if you threw it hard enough. We don't want a lawsuit. Maybe a liquid that stains or smells really bad?
magickitten 26
Ha! What a brat! When you see him next, just whisper to him that you've summoned spiders to eat his tongue while he sleeps.
Caelrona 8
There are so many great suggestions here. Seriously, this is where you just get revenge. Drench that little bastard. Water, piss, ammonia, indelible dye... especially the last one. Something nice and bright. I'd suggest florescent blue or green. Pink/red/orange can be scrubbed down and called a sunburn, and that isn't as funny..