Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially, "Kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML
Today, I found my neighbours bratty kid in my house, eating my snacks, dirtying my sofa, and drawing on pages torn from my books. I marched him back home by the ear, him screaming I was a meanie, and his mother's only excuse was, “Boys will be boys.” No apology or anything. I HATE KIDS. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
Today, my neighbour threw a bucket of muddy water over the fence at us because he said we’d been noisy since 5 a.m., and he was sick of it. We were noisy getting ready for my wedding. The water hit me and all my bridesmaids in our dresses, since we were ready and waiting to get in the limo. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML
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Top comments
glowbaby 15
Some parents make me want to scream
smokecloud_ 37
Time to fill up hundreds of water balloons and bombard them when they leave the house. What? You're just a kid at heart. ;)
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Comments (105)
Omniprism 15
Time for payback. Teach the kid not to mess with adults like that.
Cadillac4427 8
That's when you return the favor, but only in a more extraordinary way OP. :)
geminidragon01 9
burn down their house when their away when they get back be like oh well shit happens when kids are kids
droln4maltesers 8
I'm a teacher and I would to apologize on this mother's behalf. With that said I hope you give this little shit and his sorry ass mother hell! ;)
HawaiiThad 14
Don't retaliate but do file a police report.
Vlen_fml 20
ok, do the same thing except load that water with enough food coloring to make it black. worst case scenario you get your revenged and have to pay for an outfit in compensation.
AlexRen 21
Buy a squirt gun. find a hiding spot. Every time he's outside playing, squirt him.
Patty410 11
Please tell you were writing this while waiting for the kettle to boil.
Gityerchicken 12
Nothing a burning bag of dog poop on the porch can't fix.
Matilda19 7
I would of went off on her and maybe called the police to teach them a lesson