Today, I found my neighbours bratty kid in my house, eating my snacks, dirtying my sofa, and drawing on pages torn from my books. I marched him back home by the ear, him screaming I was a meanie, and his mother's only excuse was, “Boys will be boys.” No apology or anything. I HATE KIDS. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially, "Kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I saw a kid throwing a tantrum in a supermarket. Thinking it was a matter of lack of discipline, I waited for the kid’s mother to come out of the bathroom to tell her how naughty her son was being. I then got to watch her beat her son to the point of unconsciousness. FML
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Top comments
JillianJuneBug 39
Don’t hate kids, hate shitty parents
Hangryko 32
Call CPS.
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Comments (11)
RichardPencil 32
Are you a time traveler from the 1950's? Parents can't march children by their ears anymore, much less strangers!
Headlock912 2
Good on you for marching him back home. Kid needs a kick up the ass pronto
Hangryko 32
Call CPS.
maskedangel 11
Bet they are going to blame you for not locking your doors to. Good for you. I would have done the same thing
JillianJuneBug 39
Don’t hate kids, hate shitty parents
historygrad74 19
You can still hate kids. I do.
ass 11
Send the cops over. "Boys will be boys" means them jousting with brooms on their bikes because they're dumb, breaking and entering is a crime and that boy needs to learn that now before he becomes an inmate sucking up your tax dollars
HayNow 11
It's not the kid you should be hating.... and lock your doors maybe.
FluffythePink 23
If it happens again call the cops from where the brat can't see you and let them take it back to its owners. File all the charges they'll let you and make a complaint about child endangerment and/or neglect. Letting your child free roam in strangers houses? That's just begging for serious consequences...
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How did the kid even get in your house? Regardless, he should most definitely be taught not to just enter someone else's house. People like his parents should be instantly sterilized. Nothing infuriates me more than bratty kids with shitty parents.