Great chat!

Play it cool

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

Knock next time please

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

MILF

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML