Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML
Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Spaghetti7 5
Be popular today: Get the Dorito look!
dudeitsdanny 10
Real men aren't afraid to moisturize. They don't have to, but they're not afraid to. Little boys and closet gays are afraid people will know how insecure they are, so they make fun of real men who moisturize.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
dudeitsdanny 10
Could have been worse.. He could have jacked off in the bottle and left you a nice mix of moisturizer and happy-juice.
amandapandajones 0
hah! dude , you just made my day!
Calivale 7
Ahaha ewww but classic!!
j_cat187 20
the best approach is to mix cum with expired mayo and fill his bottle of toothpaste with it
mlexi21 5
Switch his shampoo with bright orange hair dye:)
chefinheels88 5
Agreed
MrXerxes5 6
Sounds like Briide Wars.
ilovecookies83 0
Call in sick? FYL now, but when you two look back in a few years, it'll be a good laugh :)
PandaPandy 6
orange you glad you aren't purple? *drums* ahaha XD
PandaPandy 6
Too late?
PandaPandy 6
Hm saw it. Eh we didn't use the same thing :o
PandaPandy 6
Pfffffffft I guess. :o
PandaPandy 6
Haha wow :o I think yours was better *sees the thumbs up* :O
PandaPandy 6
haha wow :o but yours was better. I see the thumbs. :O
maliakaulitz1000 0
haha wow now u prolly look lile a jersey shore retardXD
iSurf_fml 8
Hopefully, you work on the Jersey shore. But being you live in the UK, I find my fantasy highly unlikely.
OCDC 9
Maybe they're on the English Shore.
ILoveTabz 0
I hope your not short and fat... oompa loompa doopity SNOOKIE!
BrittanyPernell6 0
so I'm guessing your name means you like a certain type of drugs, which would explain this comment^.....
ILoveTabz 0
my name is Tabitha. therefore, my nickname is "Tabz"
castrosabeast 7
orange you glad I didn't say banana
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Call up a co-worker, and tell them to paint green all over themselves. Then, you two can walk in and saying you're starting a color revolution. Everyone will applaud!