Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML
Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML
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Top comments
Spaghetti7 5
Be popular today: Get the Dorito look!
dudeitsdanny 10
Real men aren't afraid to moisturize. They don't have to, but they're not afraid to. Little boys and closet gays are afraid people will know how insecure they are, so they make fun of real men who moisturize.
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Comments (172)
Bofferding_fml 6
you're lucky he didn't watch jackass 3.5 yet, else you'd have horse cum in it instead of tan spray!
1bluewolf 0
lemons..buy lots of lemons!
taazer 12
woow thats humor :D
raeka 1
isn't fake tan cream brownish or something? I mean wouldn't you notice? that's a genuine question since it's something I've never used...
sophiagrace26 0
take a shower, scrub hard
OfficeNinja 5
if you are short, have green hair done in a "soft serve ice cream" style, and work for Willy-Wonka you might finally get that promotion and raise!
metalhead5564 0
Hey, at least you'll fit with Jersey Shore XD
metalhead5564 0
Or better yet, wear a green wig, stand really still and say you're a carrot :D
BrittanyPernell6 0
So why did your 15 yr old brother randomly have fake tan cream? Just wondering.
metalhead5564 0
That's a good question...
nerdsgetmehot 23
You're a man and you use an expensive moisturizer? I didn't think men were that fussy about their hygiene.
agaba 0
69(giggity)- i think you failed