Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
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Top comments
kewl92 0
YDI A) phone sex is retarded B) You should've checked no one's home and not just assume everybody's at work
Evan2297 0
Don't have phone sex, you might get hearing AIDS.
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Comments (79)
SaintJimmy 0
Awkward conversation coming soon!
FarSide 23
Maybe mum found it amazing and enjoyed it too.....
no1askdu 5
i hope you guys used protection.. and called locally lol
Lmao_xD 0
Whoa. that sucks Lol ;hopefully she ddnt hear much
bloodthorn 4
ydi for having a boyfriend, you lonely *****
falloutgurl517 0
#42 , it appears that you have never had a girlfriend. So just go deal with it. and stop trolling
faildood 0
at least youre not doing it for real right?
divineinstrument 2
Bloodthorn is a new member of the much hated troll clan Or jandersonii forgot his password and created a new account
blueworld_fml 0
Wow...that sux. But phone sex is always good. She can't ground you forever...
mike1921 0
She shouldn't ground her at all, it's phone sex, no one is going to get hurt by it, hell no one's even having physical contact with anyone else.
Evan2297 0
Don't have phone sex, you might get hearing AIDS.
ZombieVampirez 24
Always check your surroundings
grrbabyverygrr 0
maybe she didn't hear you :)
SandiRainbowFish 20
If the mom hadn't heard, I don't think this would be posted on FML.... But I'm not entirely sure.
robert_dk3 0
wooo 3rd xD
kyle4321 0
#4 FAIL. OP: Go get some instead of doing that phone sex crap!
mmkkmmm 0
did you guys that are like oh go have some real sex ever think that maybe she doesn't live close enough to her boyfriend to see him or that maybe she can't drive. like seriously what happened to don't judge a book by it's ******* cover. what's wrong with a couple havng phone sex god
eliz3 0
If she doesn't live close enough to see her own boyfriend then quite frankly its not a real relationship...
kitterkateee 0
just because they might not live near each other doesnt mean its not a real relationship. long distance realtionships are- knowing something good when you have it and not letting anything-like distance- come between that.
victoria4161993 0
your 4th
kewl92 0
YDI A) phone sex is retarded B) You should've checked no one's home and not just assume everybody's at work
eggbrtshootsfire 0
Are you two hard of hearing or something?
maria12_fml 0
OP: go for the real stuff, phone sex is for retards.
chowyuk 0
amazing phone sex? imposible fyl for having amazing phone sex
Shyman4ever 0
Phone sex is bullshit, go out there and get him.
xOpheliacx 0
YDI for not checking first.