Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, going through my late grandmother's papers, I found out that my grandfather had never been in the Nazi party. The reason he was not allowed to work as a teacher was that he had never passed his university exams. He found an invented Nazi past less shameful than academic failure. FML
Today, my great grandfather got arrested. Why? He is still shell shocked from World War II, so when we went to a hibachi grill, he didn't want any of those, "Damn Japs" to touch his food, and our chef didn't take too kindly to his verbal assault. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML
Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML
Today, my grandfather scolded me for not wanting to go to my 12-year-old cousin's basketball game. This is the same grandfather that refused to go to my high school graduation. FML
Today, I'm grounded for literally the whole summer because my parents found out that I was still seeing my grandma behind their backs, even though they banned her from ever seeing us again after she spanked my sister. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
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Top comments
Aspen_Grace33 27
Old people are always suspicious of everything. They think everyone is secretly after them.
John_in_Oz 12
So go back to him and tell him you've got permission from ASIO to tell him you're an Australian spy studying Japanese and German to spy on them. If he asks for proof, tell him of course you don't have any proof, no spy carries proof they're a spy.
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Comments (83)
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Maybe he just wanted to make sure you didn't have Axis to his home.
acacheerleader09 1
Well..... are you?
Imthebomb36 2
Hahahahaha you should buy Soviet pins and wear them into his house! :D
0h_Boy 26
Try marrying into a Jewish family & taking a course about Nazis. Now, THAT was an awkward conversation...
mr_jack_meoff 5
To which you should have said, hey old man, you will be dead soon, does it really matter.
marramrammar 2
Tell him that your learning the language to infiltrate the enemy lines!
Kc1001 14
He has PTSD and needs help. Just don't talk any foreign language to him and you'll live.
Brilliant66star 17
How sad for both of you. FYL.
aliciajuice 13
Queenslander!
warriorkalia 3
Huh. I didn't know anyone but me was interested in those specific languages... at the same time. At least you aren't majoring in them...?