Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, going through my late grandmother's papers, I found out that my grandfather had never been in the Nazi party. The reason he was not allowed to work as a teacher was that he had never passed his university exams. He found an invented Nazi past less shameful than academic failure. FML
Today, my great grandfather got arrested. Why? He is still shell shocked from World War II, so when we went to a hibachi grill, he didn't want any of those, "Damn Japs" to touch his food, and our chef didn't take too kindly to his verbal assault. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML
Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML
Today, my grandfather scolded me for not wanting to go to my 12-year-old cousin's basketball game. This is the same grandfather that refused to go to my high school graduation. FML
Today, I'm grounded for literally the whole summer because my parents found out that I was still seeing my grandma behind their backs, even though they banned her from ever seeing us again after she spanked my sister. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
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Top comments
Aspen_Grace33 27
Old people are always suspicious of everything. They think everyone is secretly after them.
John_in_Oz 12
So go back to him and tell him you've got permission from ASIO to tell him you're an Australian spy studying Japanese and German to spy on them. If he asks for proof, tell him of course you don't have any proof, no spy carries proof they're a spy.
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Comments (83)
lwonderful 11
Perhaps he was connected to the service in his younger days?
buckdharma 38
Point out all the things he owns that were made in Japan.
andrekrivo 20
won't that make it worse? he could start looking up every item he owns and discarding it. he might come to your house and throw out your ps3 and his reasoning will be: China is with Japan!
buckdharma 38
#24- Good point, but if he grills on a Hibachi, is thrilled with his Hitachi and adores his Mitsubishi, maybe nazi.
BrotherPhil 35
China was with the Allies in WWII. On the other hand: Chinese, Japanese, Iceburg, Goldberg...
AngrySailor 17
Some Japanese soldiers were found in the Philippines (I believe) not many years ago. Who genuinely thought the war was still on going. Maybe you should take Grampa out of the bush more often?
avapaige1234 19
Your grandpa seriously needs to get over it.
SMHsohard 22
Yes, because WWII wasn't traumatizing in the least.
armyaggie 11
He didn't think maybe you are an American spy getting ready to infiltrate the German and Japanese governments? That would make a *whole* lot more sense, given the fact that you are from Australia, a country that speaks English, and learning the languages of two forweign nations that have a history of being aggressive (albeit in the past, having done nothing menacing for 68 years now). Just a thought.
Cazz91 21
Well you know, that is how spies do it these days with their special courses they take... clearly your grandfather is missing out on a vital piece of information that you are one hell of a spy to make him think you are just a regular Joe blow spy! Teach me your secret OP, I may just join your ranks while undercover. :P
still_guns 16
I suppose you can't blame him if fought in the war. But he should know by now, neither country is going to fight against us anymore. If anything, they'll fight with us
downer3498 4
Look at it from his perspective. In his day, these were the people trying to take over the world. It would be like telling a conservative today that you're learning Arabic.
GiraffeAquarium 7
Not really. I technically fall more under the conservative category and I couldn't care less if someone wants to learn Arabic, nor would anyone else I know.
SeveralLake 18
Speaking Arabic is different from being a terrorist. Being Islamic is also different. He was probable traumatized from the war, not an ignorant asshole like you
BlitzPKF 10
The granddaughter is a spy! No one gets the reference? Okay
born_hustla 26
Tell him an amazing story about how you want to better understand the "enemy".