Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, going through my late grandmother's papers, I found out that my grandfather had never been in the Nazi party. The reason he was not allowed to work as a teacher was that he had never passed his university exams. He found an invented Nazi past less shameful than academic failure. FML
Today, my great grandfather got arrested. Why? He is still shell shocked from World War II, so when we went to a hibachi grill, he didn't want any of those, "Damn Japs" to touch his food, and our chef didn't take too kindly to his verbal assault. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML
Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML
Today, my grandfather scolded me for not wanting to go to my 12-year-old cousin's basketball game. This is the same grandfather that refused to go to my high school graduation. FML
Today, I'm grounded for literally the whole summer because my parents found out that I was still seeing my grandma behind their backs, even though they banned her from ever seeing us again after she spanked my sister. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
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Top comments
Aspen_Grace33 27
Old people are always suspicious of everything. They think everyone is secretly after them.
John_in_Oz 12
So go back to him and tell him you've got permission from ASIO to tell him you're an Australian spy studying Japanese and German to spy on them. If he asks for proof, tell him of course you don't have any proof, no spy carries proof they're a spy.
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Comments (83)
TogeBara 12
You should just stand outside his house and stare at his window for like an hour. Every so often talk into your wrist watch and squeeze a shirt button like it was a camera. When he comes outside run away.
asherm 15
Tell him you're learning so you can spy on them....
MakinMills 12
weird combo to take as languages.
russianspy1234 11
Tell him you're taking them so you can spy ON the enemies. If you were spying FOR the enemies, you would already know the languages.
chuckcloninger 12
So I guess it's up to you to realize that he's a little mentally off and find ways to deal with it. Perhaps he was a WWII vet and his discomfort and irrationality stem from that time?
historygeek5 13
Yeah my grandpa was WWII vet and he was paranoid. He also had a temper. So it might be PTSD
monagro 22
Surely that would make you an American spy? Spies need to learn the language of the country they need to pull info from. Not the country they give the info to. They've got translators for that, if necessary.
historygeek5 13
He might have PTSD. My grandpa had it. Or he's just crazy. But anyway fyl
IliekLoki 7
we don't offer German in our school :(
khaya 9
It makes sense who takes German and Japanese unless they want to be causing some trouble.
The_Khan 12
Tell him that you plan to spy ON the germans and japanese and that is why you are taking those courses.