Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, going through my late grandmother's papers, I found out that my grandfather had never been in the Nazi party. The reason he was not allowed to work as a teacher was that he had never passed his university exams. He found an invented Nazi past less shameful than academic failure. FML
Today, my great grandfather got arrested. Why? He is still shell shocked from World War II, so when we went to a hibachi grill, he didn't want any of those, "Damn Japs" to touch his food, and our chef didn't take too kindly to his verbal assault. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML
Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML
Today, my grandfather scolded me for not wanting to go to my 12-year-old cousin's basketball game. This is the same grandfather that refused to go to my high school graduation. FML
Today, I'm grounded for literally the whole summer because my parents found out that I was still seeing my grandma behind their backs, even though they banned her from ever seeing us again after she spanked my sister. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
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Top comments
Aspen_Grace33 27
Old people are always suspicious of everything. They think everyone is secretly after them.
John_in_Oz 12
So go back to him and tell him you've got permission from ASIO to tell him you're an Australian spy studying Japanese and German to spy on them. If he asks for proof, tell him of course you don't have any proof, no spy carries proof they're a spy.
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Comments (83)
ethanman82 8
im an axis language and i think this is funny
MrPortalFan 21
Tell your grandpa WWII is over and Germany and Japan are now allies.
papasik 6
Mister - Agent Gramps reports that you recently disclosed the facts of your special training. Report to the HQ immediately, repeat immediatly. Over.
skyeyez9 25
Was he a POW or fought in WWII? He may still be traumatized from his experiences back then.
reflexion213 11
The world has changed but when you experience atrocities first hand, you never forget.
D3ATHZ3RO 15
Tell him ur learning so u can better defend urself from the actual spies
scoldingsword 17
Tell him it's a military requirement for spies in the US to speak enemy languages :)
redmenace2 1
Good thing he didn't learn you're taking Russian too, eh comrade?
killuminatirebel 12
lol! Love old people's paranoid ideas...
4everbymyself 12
Well that really sucks, but maybe he is just afraid that you will zap his sentry.