Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished, I jokingly said, "Who's going to sleep in the wet patch?" He got up and said, "You're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing." It was my first time. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
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Top comments
bluevayero 42
I still wonder what may have triggered such a dream...
faithlessSheep 5
why make a big fuss, it's just a dream. perhaps u could tell him about ur dream and just joke it away. better luck next time
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Comments (119)
voncrane 23
Most **** "stars" already do that for a living.. Kudos for trying to keep a straight face though.
SK_Marker 6
Ydi for having weird fetish dreams ;D just tell him about it and have a laugh, lose the tension. It will make the first time much better and relaxed. :)
DrewF90 5
If you woke up wet, I'd say you have a fetish in the making there
bobdaripper7 2
What the actual ****?
DrFuzzyPickles 9
Okay, what?
laurencheese 7
That'd be funny if you were about 8. Just mature. You might hurt his feelings if you're laughing at him & doesn't even know why
flutter4 7
You are definitely not ready to have sex with him if you laugh every time you see him, especially over a dumb dream.
tehdarkness 21
Bwhahahah hahaha hahhah. Fetish, perhaps?
surrealJC 4
that's one messed up dream. call me
enderless 6
Obviously you are under age.