Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML
Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML
Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML
Today, I met with my trainer, despite having an upset stomach. Have you ever tried to hold in diarrhea while doing squats? It doesn't end well. FML
Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
ARRRRRHHHH!!!!!!! *Ploop*
CTVrhythmguitari 8
Dude. Fiber.
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Comments (74)
badactor009 0
That's not how your system should work. If you are following basic (proper diet and enough water) nutritional guidelines and have this problem regularly you should see a doctor as soon as possible.
jroxursox1 10
Eat your greens?? Or raisin bran or something. Bran is nature's broom!! Or is that raisins?? Lol. Drink some prune juice!!
crukestal 1
Eating more fruits and vegetables can make a bigger difference than one might expect... especially berries!
Roo79 1
What the....!!! You need more freaking water with a side of sit ups! Dehydration coupled with 0 core strength = bad things!!! You pop something ....you can't just unpop it!
blinksmilewink 23
Poop your way to a sixpack!
MrIncredibleSME 3
Isometrics ftw
charonboat 0
Lol. Guys never never ever look up Charonboat on google images!!! You'll get nightmares. Not joke!!!!!!!
SoultheWolf 19
I don't know if you're trying to take a dump daily and you're trying to force it or if its just that painful. If you are trying to force it, its best to try and wait til you're body is ready to go, even if it takes a few days.
tripangelx8 4
try chewing your food ;)
mpena616 7
Ouch. :(