Today, it was raining downtown. I saw an elderly woman crossing the street so I lended her my umbrella and helped her across. When we got to the other side, she said, "Thank you Toby," and then refused to give back "her" umbrella to me, loudly enough for a nearby cop to hear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML
Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML
Today, I helped a lady carry her grocery bags to her car. She was so grateful that she offered me a tip. I refused, but she insisted. When I finally took it, I looked at the bill to see she'd given me $1. I smiled and said thank you, but she looked at me like I’d just robbed her. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML
Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
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Top comments
QTp13 10
I know exactly how you feel. I had a really expensive Louis Vuitton handbag, and an old lady just randomly went to the on-duty police officer, and told him that 'I was the one who had taken her bag a few days ago'. When I showed my ID, and all the things that was in it (that were mine) he still didn't believe me. Sucks for you man. FYL indeed =(
rambles 0
what a ******!
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Comments (84)
Emperor_Jim 0
Karma doesn't exist.
Asstazztic 8
I've tried to send comments on my itouch but it doesn't work.. anyone help? trying to use the same username as on my mac but it doesn't work :/
polico_wolf 0
:O one of the staff didnt go ":-)" at the end!
RachelTM 0
You meant winking, right? ;-)
snugsack 0
lol never trust those old granniesss =p
amthony08 0
that old hag. don't trust old ppl anymore. she was a real bitch
Capdan58 0
Who helps old ladies cross the road these days? What do you think this is, the 50's? YDI.
Kyragirl_1 0
God forbid people help the elderly. Just because it's not the 1950's anymore doesn't mean you can't be respectful... Did your parents raise you to be rude?
itiszanthonyy 0
that's really racist. who would call a random person toby? thats just plain ****** up.
theset3 0
how is tht racist. its assuming. not racist. haha
Flutist 3
Kudos boyscout. You did two good deeds, gave a woman your arm and your umbrella. Next time don't let her hold it. Also, this sounds horrible, but she might die anyways. Toby must be her imaginary grandson.
The__Redneck 7
Flutist, that depends on whether the guy's black. I hope he isn't, because that's a pretty ******-up thing to do, but there are ****** up people out there.
Flutist 3
What? Black? WHat does that have anything to do with it?
Sionnach 10
YDI for trying to be a nice guy. Next time you'll know better, and push the old bitch into traffic.
gsshfxnsca 0
Why would you actually give it to her, why not walk close beside her with you holding it?
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for getting owned by a grandma. Clay Aiken would have roundhoused that woman into incoming traffic and then had her arrested for hitting her face on his fist.
murdock129 0
Shut up about Clay Aiken
LatinoHeat 0
Thanks for your constructive input to this topic. :)
Sionnach 10
Who the hell is Clay Aiken?
LatinoHeat 0
A simple google or youtube search will provide you with your answers. :)
Mustardnight 3
Only the greatest singer ever.