Cpt Colin
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Get out of here
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
ShayisPay101
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Life goals
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Anonymous
Clermont, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
ChePow
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Grossed out
Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
oops999
Downingtown, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Sounds hot
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Nice try
Today, my girlfriend of 4 weeks tried to use sex to manipulate me. After sex, I was blissful and half asleep, which is the time she chose to tell me she has some credit card debt and could I please help her pay it off. £27,000. Yeah, no. Don’t let the door hit you on the way back to the street. FML
asdfasdf
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Time is money
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Anonymous
Edison, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Finger wagging
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Big B
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Anonymous
Lemont, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Go away
Humboldt, United States
Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML
Top comments
Garzoo 4
Wow. She's a keeper!
kut19 6
Too cheap to spring for the prostitute?
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Comments (78)
sethu9211 3
Really???
krisymisy 0
Well…
CadillacPimpen 6
Come home broke with blue balls. Yeah she's got the answer to your pent up sexual frustration.
cheefer 0
Agreed, if I want to be teased I'll go to the playground.
drawmesunshine 17
59, I'm not entirely certain how you meant that, but it sounds extremely pedo.
rahavan 15
Nice reference :D
annihil8or 15
U got a big problem
underguarded 20
...Or a small one.
imaa_hustler 0
Leave your stupid girlfriend and date the stripper.
GoW_Chick 15
Because we all know dating a stripper always works out...
bitchslapped22 14
Take advantge!
jobsman99 0
Wow that stinks that you get no pussy from you gal. Take the money check out the stripper. Then play with your gals **** for awhile, have her give you a ********, then ditch her for someone that lives to f##k. I have been there done that. Good luck.
Mifflicious 18
You're one hell of a disgusting person. Why would one do that just because the girl didn't want to have sex that one time? And find someone who LIVES TO ****?! Then get a prostitute. I hope your penis falls off.
MissMae93 23
Well put, 57. I'm sure it will from all the std's and sti's thriving on his nasty penis. It's what you get for making love to a prostitute.
Jibblets2367 7
"My girlfriend gave me money for a stripper. FML" ? I'm sorry, do you also have too much money to complain about, or a ski trip you dont want to attend? Did you get too many video games for Christmas? Oh you poor thing! -.-
tenniscrazy2 6
I was wondering the exact same thing hahaha