Cpt Colin
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Get out of here
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
ShayisPay101
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Life goals
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Anonymous
Clermont, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
ChePow
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Grossed out
Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
oops999
Downingtown, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Sounds hot
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Nice try
Today, my girlfriend of 4 weeks tried to use sex to manipulate me. After sex, I was blissful and half asleep, which is the time she chose to tell me she has some credit card debt and could I please help her pay it off. £27,000. Yeah, no. Don’t let the door hit you on the way back to the street. FML
asdfasdf
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Time is money
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Anonymous
Edison, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Finger wagging
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Big B
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Anonymous
Lemont, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Go away
Humboldt, United States
Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML
Top comments
Garzoo 4
Wow. She's a keeper!
kut19 6
Too cheap to spring for the prostitute?
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Comments (78)
VertigoF8 2
Well, did you take the money? FMLs are always cliffhangers these days..
Invalid_user_nam 0
Agree. It's like when my cousin Walter was about to crash while he was in a airplane.
pfx2_fml 15
I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing
maryam8869 7
bad .. how can she send him to other woman
pfx2_fml 15
That awkward moment when fml post your comment twice..
pfx2_fml 15
That awkward moment when fml post your comment twice..
N3766 20
asexual much?
ToxicxKitten 9
Take the money and go before she changes her mind!
I_Punch_Babies 7
wait...a woman that is WILLINGLY giving you money? send her my way!
barleyguy 17
Well if she hates the idea of sex then shouldn't she be paying for a prostitute? And also I'd like to say that the belief that sex is unnatural is incorrect all living life forms one true definite purpose is to bear children
asherm 15
Well god strike me dead.... Not struck dead still alive, so I'm gonna keep f****n for fun. Sorry to offend, but some of us get pleasure out of sex. If that wasn't allowed, we wouldn't have gotten the organs and nerves that make it so. Thank you lord for my multiple orgasms!!
iffy 20
What else can a guy ask for!
Enslaved 38
And a girlfriend that actually wants to have sex with you.
ImSoEffedUp 10
A NEW girlfriend.... One that puts out.....
foreveridiot17 18
Invest that money into pills to get you lil man up and actually please her.
majorasshole 4
A stripper or a hooker?
Isoldael 27
It sort of makes me wonder how much you insisted. Was it a "hell, I'll give you money for a stripper then but just back off!" or a "honey, I really don't feel like sex today, here's a tenner, go find yourself a sexy stripper"?