Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML
Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML
Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML
Today, it's our fifth-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I gave him his gift and walked over to the kitchen to serve him some food I'd made. On my way back to the dining room, I overheard his plans with his friend to ditch me in 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
Mr25_fml 14
damn salmonella
22jrdn55 15
Just give up, they're going to thumb you down no matter what you do. OP, better luck next year.
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Comments (109)
stormchaser24 24
Well was that part of your first dare too?
stormchaser24 24
*date
22jrdn55 15
Just give up, they're going to thumb you down no matter what you do. OP, better luck next year.
AnonymousTroll 2
Well shit, OP is ******!
GovernorGeneral 8
Have the receipt ready and take pictures of yourself and your wife puking as evidence and SUE THE RESTAURANT!!!!!! SUE THEM I TELL YA!!
FMLouis 6
Actually 65, I'm pretty sure OP wasn't ******...
ZebulonPike 8
First! Now I'll go thumb down my own comment.
heimdallr 14
I gave you a thumbs up since you were actually #2. Anyway, don't let the poisoning stop you. Who knows, maybe you'll discover a new kink for vomiting/diarrhea during sex? ...*vomits from the thought*
jskains 6
Fail. Not only is the first crap old and juvenile, you are not even first. Boy you suck at life. :)
Mr25_fml 14
damn salmonella
cocofruity123 0
That blows
alexh15 13
Chunks. It blows chunks...
WCARlover 35
Okay on the other one you put "that sucks"...what's the point of commenting when you're not going to be at all original?
Talia_91 13
Ooo stalker alert
WCARlover 35
Yep you caught me, I'm a stalker, there's no way I could have just remembered her picture from the last FML I was on just seconds ago
silentbutfunny 0
15 you stole the words right out of my mouth
flockz 20
stole the chunks right out of your mouth?
stephan18 23
Lool #24 keeps snapping at #4 x) why so mean?
leprechaun23 15
The chunks are the only thing getting blown tonite
FMlbeast1 0
Right she did
Semm 0
unlucky
ICATiger 13
McDonalds??
bugmenotmofo 34
Yeah because fast food and romance always fits.
lindseykcool 6
I think he was kidding, 52.
pimplefacedgirly 8
((I always get sick at McChunkies. )) A lot of people take dates to fast food places... in Fatsoville, but only if you live in Poortown. Mhm.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Call your local Health Department and tell them the restaurant you went to Poisoned you and your partner and had fallen ill.
I_Hate_Tpyos 0
Food poisoning is almost impossible to prove and manifests 24-48 hours after consumption. It didn't come from that restaurant.
ReesesPuffs 0
I'm sure you went home and had a good night. Jk, food poisoning ******* sucks and makes my insides want to come out.
jillianmathers12 13
That would be funny if it happened the first time as well!
Skywalkaz 0
I hope she has a fetish for vomit.
heimdallr 14
and/or diarrhea.
example947 0
Shh
Trisomy18 4
Eww
Torva_fml 16
I hope you don't comment again.