Cpt Colin
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Get out of here
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
ShayisPay101
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Life goals
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Anonymous
Clermont, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
ChePow
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Grossed out
Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
oops999
Downingtown, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Sounds hot
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Nice try
Today, my girlfriend of 4 weeks tried to use sex to manipulate me. After sex, I was blissful and half asleep, which is the time she chose to tell me she has some credit card debt and could I please help her pay it off. £27,000. Yeah, no. Don’t let the door hit you on the way back to the street. FML
asdfasdf
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Time is money
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Anonymous
Edison, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Finger wagging
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Big B
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Anonymous
Lemont, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Go away
Humboldt, United States
Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML
Top comments
Garzoo 4
Wow. She's a keeper!
kut19 6
Too cheap to spring for the prostitute?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
ladyLALAA 29
Just putting it out there, have you ever thought that maybe it's YOU? Girls like sex just as much as men, so yeah, just saying..
cooLING 0
Maybe he sucks and she just doesn't have time to listen to him whine...
Brikan 0
Forget her
metalflower00 11
Uhhh... How is this an FML? This is a win!
GoW_Chick 15
So ... Who did you go to bambi, candi, or sandi?
Dracoboxer357 36
....Randy? No judgments here... ;)
underguarded 20
Wow, If she doesn't like sex that much, she could At least tell you what's wrong or what your doing wrong to make sex better. You get better by practice but hiring a stripper to teach you isn't the way to go.
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
.....so did you do it?
dcats 13
You do know that you can not have sex with a stripper do you? Ask money for an escort again.
perdix 31
Unless you hate sex, too, you need to find another girlfriend. You do not want to end up marrying a roommate! Also, you need to haggle. You need to counter her offer by asking for high-end escort money, but then be willing to split the difference and accept a swanky street *****. With those celibates, you have to negotiate like Trump!
perdix 31
I meant "skanky," DYAC!!!
ImSoEffedUp 10
U must be TERRIBLE in bed....
kimmi41509 10
Maybe you smell bad... :)