Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML
Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML
Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, I visited a friend out of state. We've been flirting for months and decided to fool around at night. He was very loving and attentive, but... he'd bragged about his dick being 6 inches and it ended up being not only thin, but very short. So thin and short that I couldn't really feel it. FML
Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
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Top comments
moonshine_bek 2
I don't care what anyone says, when it comes down to situations like this; size does really matter folks!
Neotoxx 5
LOL I feel bad for that guy
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Comments (124)
comatoast 0
serves you right bitch!!
xoxogrrrr93 0
lmfao .
aricTB 0
an inch of fun for everyone :]
Rosalie_Haostn 0
^awwwww hahaha that's horrible. but a win comment I must say!
niibee 0
hahaha love it
alphaxzero 0
sounds like he wasnt fully errect.
corleon198425 22
ahahhaha SDS sucks for him hahhahahahaahha!!!!!!
aardvarkish 17
doesn't the dude get a point for personality?
Jorvik 0
size only matters when you've got a fanny the size of an airplane hanger. :)
sreczek 0
Today, this fat chick insisted that I take her back to my place. I too was wasted so i said wth. we got back, she stripped down. I was so sick after looking at her naked that I couldn't get hard anymore. Fml
D_Marquisa1 0
Perdix, always has the smartest ishh to say. but I agree, how would you handle an average sized peeny if the small one you practice on doesn't reach the throat? haha
jordalinajones 0
ha! my best friend lost her virginity to a guy like that! only she didn't pop either.