Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML
Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML
Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, I visited a friend out of state. We've been flirting for months and decided to fool around at night. He was very loving and attentive, but... he'd bragged about his dick being 6 inches and it ended up being not only thin, but very short. So thin and short that I couldn't really feel it. FML
Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
moonshine_bek 2
I don't care what anyone says, when it comes down to situations like this; size does really matter folks!
Neotoxx 5
LOL I feel bad for that guy
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (124)
hb4227 0
first of all, ydi for trying to get laid right after divorce. and second, i'm Asian and i'm above average... just not big xD
oxaviero 0
black ftw
BlueBomber 0
Wow, the divorce must have been really traumatic for you. I'm so sorry to hear you couldn't get it on with a guy you had been humping in your mind while you waited for the legal process of getting rid of your loser husband to get wrapped up. Which is more than either of us can say for your new beau.
toto365 0
maybe he drinks to much mountain dew which makes men and homosexuals dick get smaller
iplaymw2 0
that is not true intirley...asians olny r 1in. on average than ze amewicans...dont know if its a sterio type or a fact but i heard indians are the tiniest
bezach 0
americans...they can't love anyone if they can't have sex
Marino01 0
DAMN!
SenGaeriel 3
I must comment on this. I like a guy who has what I call a babydick. He's a great guy. He's hot, sexy, handsome, has a fine ass, great personality, and yet he has a babydick. I got no problem with it. It's cute.
SenGaeriel 3
He says that condoms are way too big. I have to agree. Even the normal sized condoms are too big for average sized dicks.
mitch707 0
Lolz how big is he?
SenGaeriel 3
He's 2 3/4 inches hard.
SenGaeriel 3
He also wants me to say that he masturbates only using his finger and thumb.
helloello 2
2 3/4 inches hard? that's seriously got to be impossible. maybe in like 5% of guys in the world but that just sounds insane lol
SenGaeriel 3
It's true, though. That is how big, or in this case, small, he is.
mitch707 0
Wow tell him i feel sorry for him. But hes lucky to have someone like u. Sure makes me feel better though =P
Shyanha 0
ROFL. I Never thought that would be an issue but . . . welcome to the 'I never lnew they 'came' that small club. FHL, too. Notuch he can do about it other than buff up the tongue. ;)
clairdnj 0
Ugh. Babydicks are the worst.