Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML
Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML
Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, I visited a friend out of state. We've been flirting for months and decided to fool around at night. He was very loving and attentive, but... he'd bragged about his dick being 6 inches and it ended up being not only thin, but very short. So thin and short that I couldn't really feel it. FML
Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
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Top comments
moonshine_bek 2
I don't care what anyone says, when it comes down to situations like this; size does really matter folks!
Neotoxx 5
LOL I feel bad for that guy
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Comments (124)
clairdnj 0
t
clairdnj 0
niesenator- are you babydick's mom?!? OMG you are, aren't you! Bitty boobs gives birth to babydick. Awww.
Dynoblaze 1
Does he have a two inch dick? How does the condom not stay on?
SenGaeriel 3
A small sized condom is six inches long. That is also the average size for an erect penis. If your penis is smaller, a condom can slip off. It happens.
bryno7 0
he had to be asain
King_David19 0
I Have a HUGE Black Dick!
smitty4ever 2
on that p-niz pyramid thing you should put French people between white and asians. :p
ilovesoccer786 0
Asian girls are made for Asian guys. hella tight
purple91 8
More like f-his-life.
LadyAshley 0
Actually Asain men have an average of a 5.5 inch penis. India men have the smallest penis, can't remember the length, but it was so small that they had to make smaller condoms for them. Btw I know this because I watch the show Manswers, it's funny as hell and educational :D But that was a Manswers question, which country has the smallest penis and it was India men
angeleyez42 0
no they don't. my bf is Indian and well above average. something you see on tv isn't always right...
frocher 0
I wonder if he noticed your perfectly sized perky breasts, small