Sex, Sextoys Intimacy Freaky

Freaky

Anonymous - 27/08/2010 09:15 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex yet, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite." Now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

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Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

No fun allowed

Match my freak - 01/01/2026 20:00

Today, I showed my boyfriend all my kinky sex toys, hoping he'd be excited. He was actually freaked out and said that I have "way too many." Sorry I'm not a boring Christian prude who's afraid of her own pussy, I guess. FML

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Sharing is caring

Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

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Peaked

herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

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possibly fucked - 22/06/2014 20:34 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

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No kinkshaming, but come on…

Erik Monkey - 27/04/2022 07:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML

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Show and tell

Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

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Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

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Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

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Bigger than...

Jim - 26/11/2019 16:00 - Canada - Winfield

Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML

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Anonymous - 16/08/2015 15:49

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

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rockr_chick 5

Friday 27 August 2010 16:32

its going to be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway

Smyth 3

Friday 27 August 2010 16:37

A forearm sized *****? She set herself up for disappointment with that one.

KaitHud 0

Friday 27 August 2010 22:50

bwahahaha

englishhottiexx 0

Friday 27 August 2010 23:21

what type of girl what say tht to her boyfriend?? I've never talked about that to my boyfriend.

vivilily 0

Friday 27 August 2010 23:21

Now that sucks!

WhyTheFace4 0

Friday 27 August 2010 23:26

it's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

eyecatcher 0

Friday 27 August 2010 23:32

your Girlfriend might be a showoff , did you even mind asking that did she take that instrument up her twart, or she is just showing that thing around saying thats its her favourite. if she can take that in .. boy! you look for another girl .. cuz you will throughing that into a cave not a p***y .. you feel what im sayin .. Peace .