Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, while sleeping, my foot was stabbed by something in my bed and I woke up to it bleeding. I looked around for the cause and found nothing. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep because it might happen again. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, I got home late after a long day at work and all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed. As soon as the water in the shower was hot, I got in. One minute, I was standing and the next I was fast asleep at the bottom of the tub. I woke up with my face swollen and my shoulder bruised. FML
Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML
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Top comments
Cyrus00 41
Now there's the question of do you want to know what it was?
THEDUDE1553566 24
Hope it's not broken or injured in anyway. Feel better op
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Comments (61)
Guzziii 12
Keeping the lights off at night, that's a bold move Cotton
whatunicorn 17
Hopefully nothings broken! but please do a follow up really want to know what touched your foot.
trojanman74 6
Oh man. Well was the kick good?
whatunicorn 17
hope nothings broken! but please do a follow up really want to know what it was that touched your foot!
whatunicorn 17
Hopefully nothings broken! but please do a follow up really want to know what touched your foot.
feven 32
I think we got it after the first two times lol
scottishoatmeal 22
Dude what was it?
GreyJedi 10
Sorry. I have a fetish. I'll take my feather duster elsewhere.
totallynotemily 25
My guess was either a bug or mouse
Mathalamus 25
Did you ever find out what it was?
prized_loser 17
It scared the shit out of you. See what i did there. Worst joke ever.