Today, my boyfriend told me he still has the key to our mailbox, while being at the other part of the country. Not to worry though, he sent it over. By mail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a letter, turns out it was the wrong address. My panties are now somewhere in Canadian post. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be getting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me, asking if I had left my underwear over at his place. No, no I didn't. They weren't mine. Awesome. FML
Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me to stay home, because he wanted to come by to give me a birthday surprise. Later on, he came by, posted a note, rung the bell and left. The note was a break up note. FML
Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML
Today, I got a postcard from my boyfriend who is on vacation in the Caribbean. He's breaking up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Maybe he isn't a complete dumbass and mailed it to your neighbour. Or maybe he didn't and he's actually a complete dumbass.
Ozuru 11
Sometimes, the gene pool just needs a little chlorine.
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Comments (125)
offtothemoon 7
Well, maybe it's time to change the locks
ogatasan 5
Oh, the irony
Ch0sen 13
No, it's time for her to be more worried about the key to his brain. Rusty unused thing evidently needs some starting up once in a while.
rockerlove2013 6
Ummm yea she needs to send him to a therapist
lopsop 12
How would a therapist fix his problem of not using his brain?
TurtleDinosaur 2
He/she wouldn't.
slurshies 11
1- I know the pressure to get first comment is powerful, but you are just wasting space with a comment that doesn't really make sense in relation to the FML
Lexi_princess 3
Or maybe he may need to dye his hair brown if he is a blond
Futacy 30
Wow, your bf is a total f*cking dumbass.
Ozuru 11
Sometimes, the gene pool just needs a little chlorine.
Bpwoods 6
I used to have a pool, but then we got all of the "p" out of it... We now have an ool... Edit: ok this was a lot stupider than it seemed as I was typing it... Just slightly ignore it.
swankmrpancake 8
It could have been a lot worse like you used to have a pool then you lost all your L, and you see where I'm going with this.
Roevera 14
Nope, I don't see where you're going with this.
RedPillSucks 33
Just pee in your ool and you'll be back in business.
Waka_Flocka_ 3
And i said what about breakfast at Tiffany's
ThomasScott 7
She said, "I think I remember the film, And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it." And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."
sens3sfailing 25
You said "BITCH BETTER GET MY HONEY!" about breakfast at Tiffany's....(must have seen workaholics episode his profile is from to understand)
dancinwookie 21
@73 and 86- thank you for turning this into a musical, nostalgic comment reading journey for me. For all those who are clueless look up "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something".
ThomasScott 7
I don't watch Workaholics, they just play the song at work all the time.
DocBastard 40
Maybe he isn't a complete dumbass and mailed it to your neighbour. Or maybe he didn't and he's actually a complete dumbass.
Angelous505 5
Can always send it through a company like FedEx so it goes to your door and not the box.
Ch0sen 13
I used to think people were generally somewhat intelligent - then I began reading your blog and all hope in that notion completely died; I'll be sitting in the "actually a complete dumbass" camp.
Sliver1991 26
I'll keep my hopes in mankind and believe the bf is just messing with OP.
cartooncharacter 9
FedEx doesn't always bring it to your door.
Dixbfloppin 11
I, on the other hand, thought he did it as a joke.
MrNewbie 3
At least he showed initive in getting the key back home...
perdix 31
What a dumb-ass! He should just fax it to you. YWIA.
Screwie 25
Fax is too cool, he should've texted it.
Bpwoods 6
Psshhh, he should've paged it to op.
domking1315 20
My initial guess was that he was gonna email it
Blackmail111 9
I still say he could've smoke signaled it.
AussieChild 22
Carrier pigeon!
friedT 5
It's a key! You can't fax a key you ******* idiot!
raraisbang 12
76, it appears that you are the only "******* idiot" in this group. That being said, he could totally have IMed it to her.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
76) No shit, Sherlock! That was the joke! And thanks for ******* up the combo! I'm going to fax you a punch in the face.
LilTiki559 13
surprised no one has mentioned it, but a "Care Package" couldn't hurt. just pop some smoke! or a flare.
torio123 27
He could have morse coded it
Blackmail111 9
He also could've telegraphed it.
starile 20
He should've just used sign language.
dav3800 7
Paper clip to pick lock? No? ok.
ubetrwatchBN 5
Time to start flirting with the mailman...
Calyx_fml 22
And if that works out you'll kill two birds with one stone.
lonkite101 14
Accept that OP has a boyfriend...
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
*Except
ubetrwatchBN 5
Sorry 102, I'm in denial.
emilytdl 2
You should always have a spare key. Just in case.
Lexi_princess 3
I bet he is a blond because he mailed her the lock for her mail and I bet she is a blond for not having a spare key.
COOL__Coal 12
I bet everyone is a blonde in your point of view.
Lexi_princess 3
No not everyone just the dumb people
notyobabymomma 4
In my apartment complex we aren't allowed to have spare keys made for the mailbox (it's a crime) but our management office has one
broim13calm_down 8
Just try to talk to the mail man and have him give you the key instead of putting it in the mail box.(:
broim13calm_down 8
Didn't see 5's comment when posting mine sorry.
ubetrwatchBN 5
Eh yours was probably more appropriate...and realistic
Xythenol 6
Yeah. Usually if I go to the mailbox around 5, that's the time the mailman is delivering everything. (I live in a mobile home complex) When he sees someone standing around waiting, he'll always just ask which mailbox is yours and then hand you your mail.
Voldy_fml 16
How smart.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#10- I've made the decision that since I can't read your comments without thinking about Voldemort, he needs to be your profile picture. :3 That is all. OP, that sucks but just try talking to the mailman like others have suggested.
Voldy_fml 16
He inspired my username anyway. xD
momolee 4
Lol he's an idiot
kimg0885 23
Ok so I lost my mailbox key one time; all you have to do is go to your nearest local post office tell them you lost it;and for a small fee they will replace the lock and you can return a few days later to pick up your new keys. Oh and op, it's ok we all have those face palm moments, hopefully it's not all the time with your boyfriend. Just take a deep breath and smile!