Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was trying to get out of bed, my foot began sliding across the floor. I instinctively tried to balance myself, only for the new angle to cause my right hip to painfully and loudly dislocate, making me fall face-forward into my dresser. Back stuck in bed after three days of freedom. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML
Today, when I woke up, I quickly pulled the bed sheet with my right arm to get out of the bed. I failed to notice that a big portion of the sheet was pinned under my body. My arm dislocated and I fainted because of the pain. Great way to start the day. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
Today, while in the shower, I heard my phone buzz. Expecting an important text, I leaned out to check it. I slipped, hit my head on the sink, and ended up stuck in the most awkward position possible with one leg in the shower and the other out. My roommate had to rescue me. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack, and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
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Top comments
Destro109 20
the drawer of opportunity shut on you pretty quick. fyl.
iNewKid 20
If I were you, I'd stay in bed for today. It's not your lucky day, madame!
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Comments (52)
Destro109 20
the drawer of opportunity shut on you pretty quick. fyl.
avnial 2
That was a terrible first comment.
borntoperform 14
That was a terrible first reply to a first comment
SgtAssCheeks 21
Still better than "First" or "That sucks." or "Wow." or the ever infamous "Thats a shitty situation"
rebelbelle 17
This is one of the more witty first comments I've seen in awhile
Anthony1908 6
Everyone loves a paranomasiac :)
kilullu 16
Reminds me of something I would do! I hope you are okay :)
iNewKid 20
If I were you, I'd stay in bed for today. It's not your lucky day, madame!
False_Stupidity 42
Yes, it definitely sounds like a stay in bed kind of day, but with that kind of luck maybe OP would end up being choked by her sheets, have the bed collapse or some other distaster. When its all out to get you, theres nowhere to hide.
AnOriginalName 19
But when you stay in bed all day, you lose your job. And when you lose your job, they hire a replacement. When they hire a replacement, mistakes are made. And when mistakes are made, you get trampled by a lowland gorilla. Don't get trampled by a lowland gorilla. Get out of bed, pull up your drawers, and rock that life!
thisismylifesoo 11
sorry about that OP
alshygirl 14
I'd take that as evidence that you should stay in bed today!
nchic01 17
epic fail :( i'm sorry!
ActionFearo 39
At least your foot was comfy the whole time (:
sunnyray812 42
When you try to be careful, you manage to get hurt anyway.
Rainhawk94 27
You're doing it wrong then
ileenefudge 29
I think it will be safer for you, and everything around you, for you to just stay in bed today.
Neoking 4
Her luck is so bad she gets fired that day.
ActionFearo 39
Just hide under the sheets into help arrives
sdroze1389 31
you embody grace and poise. and fail as well.