Today, my skin was turning black, and I believed I was reacting to a spider bite. I spent 4 hours waiting in an emergency room in the middle of the night, paid a $100 copay, and missed a night with my boyfriend just to have a doctor wipe dye from my brand new black jeans off with alcohol. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I rushed to urgent care after suddenly developing a dark spot in the vision of one of my eyes. Long story short, I paid $110 for the doctor to remove an eyelash. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my wife frantically saying something about her having scabies, and that I had to take her to the ER. It turned out to be eczema. FML
Today, I finally went to have blood taken for an allergy test I really need. Afterwards, I had an allergic reaction to the bandaid they used on my arm. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk and thought it would be funny to spray himself in the face with pepper spray. I was in his drunken firing line too. After him vomiting and being blinded for a few hours, he was fine. I, on the other hand, had a terrible allergic reaction and got rushed to hospital. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You seriously have never has the dye from your pants get on you before?
Travestie616 0
Yeah. There is. If you're supposed to be one color and you turn another color, that usually indicates that something isn't right. That's my "I'm speaking to a two-year-old" answer for you, though I suspect you were referring to racism.
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Comments (100)
9az00 0
Yea spider bites tend to hurt...especially if you had a reaction to it...
skgirl 0
haha wow thats just funny sucks for you
mixedchick 0
thanks for the GREAT laugh!
10pm 0
way to waste that doctors time.
AloysiusWeasley 15
Darwin! Darwin! Paging Dr. Charles Darwin! You're needed in the ER!
BLNovelist 0
......are you that much of a dumb ass that you think an insect bit you and was infecting, and you didn't bother to try to clean it? Really? YDI.
Peg_fml 0
Dumbass.
atomick 0
You know, some people would have just been grateful it wasn't a spider bite turning their leg black instead of getting on the internet and whining about what an idiot they are.
proud_liberal 0
why is your skin turning black a bad thing. sounds like ur racist to me
conan6 0
YDI for turning black.
jazmino15 0
for #67 i dont think she is racist just because she was scared because she was randomly turning black,sure it was stupid and funny but if your white and turning black you will freak out because its not normal at all.Theres nothing wrong with black people but dont randomly call people racist either.