Today, my skin was turning black, and I believed I was reacting to a spider bite. I spent 4 hours waiting in an emergency room in the middle of the night, paid a $100 copay, and missed a night with my boyfriend just to have a doctor wipe dye from my brand new black jeans off with alcohol. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I rushed to urgent care after suddenly developing a dark spot in the vision of one of my eyes. Long story short, I paid $110 for the doctor to remove an eyelash. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my wife frantically saying something about her having scabies, and that I had to take her to the ER. It turned out to be eczema. FML
Today, I finally went to have blood taken for an allergy test I really need. Afterwards, I had an allergic reaction to the bandaid they used on my arm. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk and thought it would be funny to spray himself in the face with pepper spray. I was in his drunken firing line too. After him vomiting and being blinded for a few hours, he was fine. I, on the other hand, had a terrible allergic reaction and got rushed to hospital. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You seriously have never has the dye from your pants get on you before?
Travestie616 0
Yeah. There is. If you're supposed to be one color and you turn another color, that usually indicates that something isn't right. That's my "I'm speaking to a two-year-old" answer for you, though I suspect you were referring to racism.
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Comments (100)
LadyAlathia 0
Wasn't there an episode of House involving a "rash" that turned out to be dye from a wet kid laying on a red couch?
roflcopterzzz 0
Do. Not. Have. Children.
spoo 24
+1
elchapin562 0
YDI, you know spider bites hurt right?
katewasherexx 0
I watched that episode of House with the "rash" today. Lol.
skylinediver 0
You're stupid.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I appreciate the editors who correct grammar, syntax, spelling, and all other FAILs. Thank you. Also, @ OP: Good for you. Few people realize the value of humor in high stress jobs like ER docs. I think you really fooled 'em with your ditzy act. Way to commit. ;)
This_Guy1 0
You know what? That sucks that this happened to you, but... you never touched your skin to see if it hurt? Oh well, the ER staff probably told you not to touch it. You did good, but what lesson you learned, i'm still not sure
ghostgirll 0
hypochondriac much?
3P0N1N3 0
EPIC. Fail, that is. You made my day.