Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend, who broke up with me the day before yesterday, got a job at my workplace. He shows up dressed his best clothes, clean-shaven, and with perfume. For the 10 months we dated, I only saw him in baggy tops, sweatpants, a weird beard, and the smell of sweat. FML
Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend at a grocery store. We haven't seen each other since we broke up a few months ago, and when he introduced me, he called me by the wrong name. We dated for three years. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML
Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend of mine at the store. All was going fine, until she showed me her new fiancé. My now ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML
Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled, "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML
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Top comments
A07 48
Totally explains the 'ex'.
ermagherdaturdis 26
It sounds like you should be glad to have broken up with him.
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Comments (47)
A07 48
Totally explains the 'ex'.
Flaming_Pandas 15
Sounds like it's time for a restraining order.
Leenah_93 11
How was he ever a "boyfriend" to begin with? what a creep >.
A07 48
People lie.
pugpuggy 21
Maybe it was a compliment.
ermagherdaturdis 26
It sounds like you should be glad to have broken up with him.
meggieeeee92 27
Well imagine if you did smell the same as before, he would probably do even crazier shit.
thefmlman2011 37
At least your friends right? But too bad he's crazy.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
I'm confused why you'd think they're friends?
thefmlman2011 37
I didn't think when posting the comment.
BI4ze 17
Sounds like he has some issues.
Sandman366 6
What is he, anyway? A dog? Just go around, sniffing people....
kerrycakes 21
that sounds terrifying
Mynamewontfi 40
That guy sounds crazy. Good thing he's your ex.
patrickalamo 48
Next time you see him start talking about the new love of your life and how he is training to be an ultimate fighter. That will give him something to whimper about.
RobinGoodfellow 47
Tell him you smell different because the scent of your new boyfriend has rubbed off on you and pervaded all of your clothing, bedding, etc.