Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a movie date. During the movie, I picked a small zit on my forehead. Afterwards, at dinner, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of my face. I thought he was staring lovingly at me. He was actually staring at a large throbbing zit with a trail of blood coming from it. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview, then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, only to see that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML
Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
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Top comments
HeyLookJesus 11
At least that pimple didn't start talking to him.
Awsumuzzie 12
Guys always say, "I like my girl natural and without make up on." Well, there you have it.
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Comments (135)
jerry2011 4
It's just a pimple...... Yeh tell him that his nuts are not even the size of your pimple and tell him to grow a pair.
bubo_fml 11
**** him...If he can't handle a small blemish, he'd probably lose his lunch if he was in the sack...Me, on the other hand, I dive right in...My number is 555-****!
hallma50_fml 0
Rude!!!
mihaelamaku 1
what a jerk!!!
TomHarrow 5
ydi. that fahkin gross.
drawmesunshine 17
No, it wouldn't have been ok. It still would have been very rude, and OP would have been a bitch just as her date is an asshole.
o0malicecat0o 4
Uber prick
alsgirl 24
Least you found out he's a jerk sooner rather than later
Fylminesawsome 5
Moley moley moley...er, I mean, pimply, pimply, pimply, pimply, pimply!
SlightlyUnstable 6
Idiot...like he's never had one!