Today, my elderly dad learned how to use Facebook. He now spends most of his time messaging me about his meals, his bowel movements and his foot fungus. He's now learning how to use Skype. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML
Today, my dad started Skype-ing with his long-distance friend. They’re both almost 90, barely have their hearing, and can't stop shouting. FML
Today, my mom finally learned how to text. Now it's her way of communicating, even when we're in the same room. FML
Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, I looked at my father's Facebook for the first time in a month to see a status saying, "Making wedding plans!" Really? When was he planning on telling his own daughter? FML
Today, my dad asked my help with a computer problem. Whenever he logged on Facebook, every single advertisement appeared to be hardcore porn. I had to awkwardly explain that these ads are based on his browsing habits. FML
Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML
Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML
Today, my father is really enjoying the iPhone my mother gave him for Christmas. He's enjoying it so much that he's already installed all sorts of dating apps. FML
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Top comments
lulinator 40
Let's hope he sticks to messaging instead of posting detailed notes on your wall for all to see
Emmiii_fml 18
Neat! Soon you'll receive lovely video calls from your dad. Hopefully he'll get an HD camera so you can really see that foot fungus develop :P
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Comments (57)
lulinator 40
Let's hope he sticks to messaging instead of posting detailed notes on your wall for all to see
DamnBailie 23
Just imagine if he began to post photos..
Arestian 14
aww fml, damn he might just skype call u while taking a shit i reccomend getting a new skype account, and if he asks just say that u dont use skype anymore, and delete ur fb account xD and run for ur life before he mails u his bowel movements
Zebediabolical 45
Back in the early days of the graphical internet, when I was using NCSA Mosaic 1.0, there was a site called dailydump.com that was exactly that. A guy taking pictures of his daily dump and uploading it to the web.
TheNewGuy03 29
Well, needless to say, the conversations are probably shit.
Dick_diamond 22
You're right. There was no need to say that
TheNewGuy03 29
Welp, I was prepared for a salvo of down-thumbing, considering that anyone who makes a shit joke about anything shit-related is immediately blacklisted. :)
UncleHoodie 22
Well, that's one way to keep in touch...
WitEluded 13
You had better figure out how to use the parental controls on his router before he does. "Sorry dad, I don't know what port 80 unavailable means..."
Anchovy11 7
Bro I'm so sorry.
Emmiii_fml 18
Neat! Soon you'll receive lovely video calls from your dad. Hopefully he'll get an HD camera so you can really see that foot fungus develop :P
MrGibbs25 20
hahaha * guess what sweety, they are time lapsed over a period of 2 months !!* Ha! wouldn't t that suck to see lol.
MrSassypants 34
It could be like those YouTube videos where people take a picture of themselves everyday for a year or something, but instead, it's disgusting foot fungus.
prostar9993 15
Nice boobs #6. Keep up the good work.
WitEluded 13
Seriously though, this is why hardly anyone under 20 uses Facebook anymore.
iseebearbears 27
I think you mean over 20.
skyttlz 32
He means over. I'm 20 and I go on maybe once a month. Kids I graduated with don't go on and kids younger than me have sorta left it too.
anoniemm 13
You can uncheck the "following" combobox on his profile. At least you won't see his posts anymore :-) And you can set yourself invisible to him...
alyssabp 8
Bowel*
itwasntme14 19
I was going to comment the same thing it seems like the moderators failed on this one
limitedition 25
Sounds like he would do well on Twitter.
EarlFug 19
#toomuchbran