Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
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Top comments
shaBAMalex 0
Well hey, you asked. :]
dd3_fml 0
i have a feeling that your boyfriend was the honest one...
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Comments (301)
christa953 12
hey bread I like bread too; nice pic
glitterbabe224 0
ohh, boys are boys. it's his birthday, it's the least you can do. (:
Wildbluesun 2
Your friend's boyfriend is a liar. Yours is honest. ;)
eveplox 3
YDI for your nick 'badboyfriends'
marquisrs 0
Get the **** over it.. You shouldn't have expected him to be sweet
jameisme 0
well I did the exact same thing except I was the boy an she asked me about my birthday I told her a movie we went out for a day then she texted me later that day saying she needed space I haven't talked to her since
arkangel5639 0
why is this **** your life? its his birthday and ou asked what HE wanted. not what u hink is sweet or what u want to do.
angels_siren 0
Tell him about equivalent exchange lol. birthday sex is a given. so make sure you ask for an ****** on your birthday :) he's so sweet idint he? :)
gmain 0
tell him to have fun giving one to him self
karmennn 0
that's not shocking.