Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
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Top comments
shaBAMalex 0
Well hey, you asked. :]
dd3_fml 0
i have a feeling that your boyfriend was the honest one...
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Comments (301)
turgenev_fml 0
1. Your bf is the only one that's honest. 2. You should never try to model your relationships on other people's, it will only lead to problems.
Carribu 0
There is nothing wrong with what he wanted. Don't model your relationship after someone else's. Then you're in someone else's relationship, not yours.
andywoot 0
I wouldn't mind LOL
ecox45 0
Smart guy. Knows his stuff
panther6806 0
182 your a giant BITCH!
timmy12 0
Haha yea u asked him and it's free so it's all good u don't mind
XxHeartBrokenxX 0
Err don't listen to most of the first answers.. And dump your boyfriend. You don't ask for it, it happens when your both comfortable with it. And if we want to see a movie, it means just that unless the guys an ass
XxHeartBrokenxX 0
Ok anyone that says the first bf just wants sex, how do you know he's a douche like you? Maybe hes nice. And still actually ASKING for a ******* isn't good, or right.
5footirishrapper 0
If a boy wants a ******* from you that's a good thing. Give it to him
10001110101 0
ya gotta give to get... My wife, when we first started seeing each other asked "if i went down on you, would you think I was a ****?" Of course I said "NOT AT ALL!" weve been VERY happily marrried for almost 10 years... And we are still very much crazy about each other.