Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shaBAMalex 0
Well hey, you asked. :]
dd3_fml 0
i have a feeling that your boyfriend was the honest one...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (301)
luna4545 4
which boyfriend has already gotten some?
beccalocs_fml 0
sounds like something my boyfriend would say!
ChelsiiBabee 5
At least your boyfriend knows what he wants for his birthday. -_-
tiabauman 1
Well maybe if u did it more often he wouldnt have to ask... Sigh!!! Surprise him and do it sometines ;)
JuliaC123 4
Keyword "new" boyfriend, he's still in the sweet stage, your boyfriend obviously is comfortable with you. Be happy :)
Kevdog824 12
A ******* is cheaper than a movie, remember that.
cwl727 33
You wanted to know so he told you.
razoron333 3
Well your boyfriend is at least truthful.
magnetic_aura 26
I think that's the difference between a new boyfriend and one you've had for a while. Sorry, OP.
dacheif117 8
Lol don't worry, I guarantee your friends bf had that in mind when he said "hang out and watch movies" he just didn't say it